Once upon a dream (Hakuouki fan-fic) (Hijikata x OC)

Chapter 28

Victoria's POV

Four score and seven years ago-I mean...March 20th, 1867, the Shinsengumi bid farewell to Itou-San and the 13 other men travelling alongside him, including Heisuke and Saito-San. Chizuru originally versed this occurrence rather poetically but to put it simply, cherry blossoms fell at the end of spring, it would soon be summer again. '1867?! Ugh, how long have I been here now, 3 years? What am I, 21? The time sure does fly by' I thought standing outside in the courtyard watching from behind as the band left. 'Only 2 years left, huh' 2 years until everything unfolded. When I thought about everything I became upset. 3 years I've been living with them and what have I accomplished here? Nothing. Despite having clear goals and ambitions I haven't achieved anything.

Minus the rare instances where Hijikata and I have shared what appeared to be intimate moments nothing has come of it. In retrospect, the more occurrences there seem to be the more he avoids interacting with me. Is it a guilty conscious or simply uninterest on his part? I don't know. My combat skills have clearly gotten better. I take every opportunity with Hijikata to learn new techniques from him. On my own I practice until I'm out of breath, sweating from head-to-toe and every muscle in my body aches.

This harsh practicing seems to be how I vent my frustrations about my current situation. I don't even value time anymore. I used to think I had plenty of time to figure what I wanted in life, but being here made me realize that years flew by in a flash. I have come into adulthood and yet I have nothing to show for it. Sometimes I look at myself thinking about how I used to look. I hardly dress the same that's for sure. At first, I thought the kimono's and yakuta's were troublesome and inefficient but now I've come to get used to them. Now I look at myself, in place of that girl I see a woman, she wears a simple light yellow kimono with green trim around the cuffs. Round cheeks have lost that bit of chub and are thinner and defined, eyes that were wide and full of playfulness are now sharp and calculating, my nose, which used to wrinkle up when I grinned cheekily no longer does so. and my lips have some fullness to them now. I smiled weakly at my reflection in the koi pond. 'Just look at how long my hair has gotten' I thought after pulling out the many pins that held it up. The small waves that used to grace my hair when it came to just beyond my shoulders are no more. The length of my hair and the consistency now make it nothing more than straight. 'Such a nuisance' I thought, looking at all of the hair accessories required to keep it up. The more hair the heavier it is and the more pins required to actually keep it in place.

I felt envious of Chizuru who was able to keep her hair shorter over the years. The one time I brought up the prospect of wanting to cut my hair, Kondou-San almost had a heart attack. He said long hair was considered a woman's most beautiful feature, he told me long hair suited me and begged me not to cut it, the other captains agreed. Remembering the modern saying 'Beauty is pain' prompted a sigh and I reluctantly agreed not to cut it. I was currently rethinking that choice at this very moment. As I stared at my own reflection in the calm water, watching as my hair fluttered in the gentle breeze. I glance at my side where my Katana sat. I pulled it inches from its sheath studying it, contemplating for a moment before removing it fully.

I held my katana, admiring the way its sharp steel glinted in the sunlight. I ran my finger over the flat side of the blade. 'So smooth but so deadly' I mused mentally. Crafted so sharp it could cut swiftly through paper. I reached behind me to grab at the hair about midway down my back. My hips, that's where my hair rested currently, cutting it midway would get rid of about 6 inches in length taking off a lot of the burden and still leaving me plenty of hair. I didn't see anything wrong with cutting it so I didn't hesitate to maneuver the blade behind my back bringing it just above where my hand was held. Pressing the blade lightly against where I was going to cut. I didn't realize how wrong I was in doing so. Just before I pulled the blade clean through my hair a hand shot out grabbing hold of my right wrist...firmly. I gasped and dropped the katana realizing I'd been caught trying the very thing I'd been asked not to do. I whipped my head around ready to plead to Hijikata-San not to tell Kondou but was silenced when I locked eyes with the last person I expected to see.