Urgency. | Matthew Healy

c/nineteen. inside your mind

Matty's POV.

I stepped out of the studio, hand in hand with Valerie. The minute I closed the door, I was met face-to-face with George.

"Mate, I really have to talk to you." He looked at me straight in the eye.

"Shit, okay, go ahead." I answered, with concern on my voice.

"In private." He answered, looking at Valerie.

Valerie only raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"It's about Louis." He told me, making Valerie step back unhesitantly and my face go pale at the mention of my baby brother.

"It's okay, go. I'll be here." She smiled at me, attempting to comfort me, but really I couldn't think straight.

George and I stepped toward the kitchen while Valerie went back to the studio to isolate herself from the situation. We both sat down.

"What's wrong with Louis?" I asked him, impatiently.

"Nothing is wrong with Louis!" He whisper-yelled. Saying I was confused was an understatement.

"Why the fuck did you mention him then?" I whisper-yelled back at George, although I'm not quite sure why we were keeping our voices down.

"Your mum rang me. She was calling your cell but you didn't pick up because you were too busy shagging Houdini over there!" He exclaimed.

I gestured for him to go on. "So... what about mum?"

"Matty, Valerie went to go see her." He told me.

My eyes widened in shock.

"She did what?" I asked him in disbelief.

"She went to go see your mum. She told her she was your girlfriend and she asked her about Kate. Denise rang me because apparently you hadn't told her your girlfriend was going to visit her, or that you had a girlfriend, even." He explained.

I shook my head. "That's because I hadn't asked Valerie yet." I paused, taking a deep breath.

"How does she know where I live?" I asked George.

"I have no fucking idea, mate. I've been meaning to tell you there's something sketchy about her but I didn't want you to freak or think I was over-exaggerating. I caught her smelling your red shirt once and spying on your notebook." He admitted.

I took a deep breath in. This was overwhelming. I don't see Valerie doing any of these things but I also don't doubt George.

"I have to go talk to her." I got up, and so did George.

"I'll be close." He patted my back. I nodded at him and we both walked to the studio. George stayed behind as I closed the door.

"Hey." I tell Valerie, and she stands up in excitement.

"Hey, is Louis okay?" She asks.

I sigh. "I think you'd know more about that than me."

She shrugged her eyebrows in confusion. "I'm sorry?"

"You went to go see my mum. That's why you left. Not because you were shagging Tom." I told her, bluntly.

Her mouth was agape for a solid two seconds, before she replied. "I had to get answers about Kate."

I shook my head. "No, you didn't. Because it's not your place. If I didn't tell you it's because I wasn't ready to."

She chuckled. "Right, it's so difficult to get over your ex who doesn't even remember what she had for breakfast this morning."

My blood started boiling. How could she talk about Kate that way? She didn't even know her.

"Don't fucking start. I already told you, don't talk about her." I warned her.

"Why? Because you're in love with someone who is basically a few steps away from being dead?" She replied cockily.

"I can't fucking believe you." I shook my head, running my hands through my messy curls as a result of not brushing them for three consecutive days.

"If we're going to be together you have to know this is part of who I am. And you need to suck it up. You need me, so you have to forget about Kate." She shrugged.

I scoffed. "I need you? As I recall, I was doing quite alright without you."

"If you don't stop being so stupid I'm going to make you regret denying that you love me." She said, grasping onto a nearby baseball bat.

"Oh, now you're going to hit me? Is that how this is gonna go? You're fucking insane." I laughed nervously.

I don't know what she's capable of doing. This isn't the Valerie I know.

She smiled at me and then took a swing, hitting me straight in the stomach.

"Agh-FUCK!" I groaned and yelled loudly, which made George walk into the room.

"What the actual fuck?" He said, in a surprised tone.

I was hunched over when George took the bat off of Valerie's hand effortlessly.

"Matty- I'm so sorry, I don't know why I did that. I'm so sorry." She apologized, but I was too hurt to forgive her, and I don't mean only physically.

"Are you drunk? Or just high?" George asked her, angrily.

"No, I just- he doesn't get me, why I do things. I'm not crazy, I just need to know and he doesn't open himself up to me!" She attempted to justify her behavior.

"I love you, Matty. I'm so sorry. I will never do that again, I didn't mean to actually hit you." She told me, getting closer to me.

I backed away from her. "Pack your things and leave."

She looked at me in shock, tears in her eyes. "No, no, no... Please, I'm so sorry...", She cried.

"Pack your things or we will throw them away in a fucking ditch." I tell her, for the last time.

"George, tell Jonathan to stop the bus." I told him, and he nodded.

"I love you..." She cried, gasping for breath and whining.

I analyzed my options, but none of them lead to me forgiving Valerie. I forgave Jacqueline, yes, but she wasn't a stalker, she didn't mess with my family, she had problems of her own that she knew about and admitted, and she apologized. Valerie, however... she needs to get help.

George walked into the studio as the bus came to a halt. "I called a psychologist who agreed to do us the favor of picking her up in this gas station."

I nodded, managing to stand up straight again and I stared at her, wondering if there was a way to fix this – and if there was – if we could put it all behind us.

I came to a conclusion, sighing. Her eyes widened in hope, and I have to admit, it broke my heart. It didn't stop me from saying the most meaningful two words I've ever said, though.

"Goodbye, Valerie." I opened the studio's door, signaling for her to get out.

She was shocked as she stared at me for a couple seconds, before giving up and stepping out.