ISSUES || Taegi

Chapter 38

Taehyung POV

After a long sigh, and all my decisions going through my head in a matter of seconds, I told Jin every single thing, from me liking Yoongi since the very beginning, to accepting Namjoon's stupid request of fake dating just to somehow make Yoongi jealous and break apart his relationship with Jimin, the only thing I excluded was the whole incident with that man, no one else had to know it, also, I wasn't ready to talk about it again. He listened patiently and quietly, sometimes I saw the disdain on his expression, and even a bit of pity, but for the most part he kept a straight face, not interrupting me at all... A lot of time went by, perhaps an hour and a half of me babbling, I only realized how long it had been when I stopped talking and noticed his face wasn't red anymore and his eyes weren't swollen at all, the sun was already beginning to set and the classroom started looking gloomy.

"Damn... That's... A handful isn't it?"- Jin chuckled a bit, clearly trying to organize his thoughts- "Look Tae, I'm not going to judge you, and I will probably tell you something you already know, but you need to tie up a lot of loose ends now, because continuing with this non sense is just going to hurt you even deeper"- Jin said looking into my eyes, his hand grabbed mine in a comforting motion- "Stop that weird thing with Namjoon, not because of me, I'll be fine even if he never looks my way and keeps on trying to make Jimin notice him, but because it's childish, illogical, and it's not going to work, but you are smart and already know that Tae... And I know it's easier said than done, but you really need to get over Yoongi, he really loves you, believe me, we all can see the deep appreciation you both have for each other, it's just... Perhaps it is not that kind of love"- Jin finally said now caressing my arm a bit, I already knew everything he was saying, but it was not bad that he was reminding me.

"I know... I have to turn this around, for my own good. And Hyung, I'm really sorry if I hurt you because of the Namjoon issue, I had no idea, and if I had known, I wouldn't have considered it in the first place"- I said looking into his eyes apologetically- "I'll talk to Namjoon and see how can I break this nonsense off... I'll also keep on trying to get over Yoongi, even if it is hard, I would rather keep his as my best friend than keep on distancing us off because of my one-sided feelings... Hopefully, you can do the same with Namjoon"- I concluded finally breathing in properly.

"Yeah... Guess we both have something to fix, don't we? Liking our best friends who used to be best friends themselves... doesn't that sound a bit too cliché?"- Jin finally laughed a bit lightening the atmosphere up.

"It sure does, oh God, I hadn't even thought about it, how awful"- I laughed back- "Maybe someone should write that down".

"Perhaps, would get them at least some money"- Jin smiled widely- "Come on, I'll give you a ride home, it's already late"- He stood up and extended his hand for me to take it. I smiled at him and thanked the universe for small moments like this one.

************************

I had to talk to Yoongi, I really had to, he hadn't been answering my texts, he avoided me at all costs, even on Literature class he was acting cold, if I talked to him, he just gave me small answers and didn't even look into my eyes. It had almost been a week since that conversation with Jin and I had finally decided I already had built enough courage to tell Namjoon our weird agreement was over... But I also had to talk with Yoongi, because for that whole time he had not answered me at all, and saying I was worried was an overstatement.

"Hyung, wait up!"- I said a bit loudly trying to reach Namjoon on the corridor.

"Oh, hey Tae, what's up?"- Namjoon said stopping and turning to look at me with a smile.

"We need to talk, janitor's closet, now"- I said without smiling back as I dragged him by the hand into the nearest closet.

"Wow hey slow down, why are you so serious, what is so imp- "

"We need to break up"- I blurted out interrupting him as soon as the door had closed behind him, I couldn't wait, I would back down if I didn't say it right then.

"What?"- Namjoon opened his eyes widely and stared at me in confusion and a lot of other emotion that I could not describe.

"I said we need to break up, I can't keep this up Namjoon Hyung, I'm sorry, I know we had an agreement, but we've already kept this scheme up for months and... I can't take it, I know technically we've only been 'together' for two weeks, but, yeah"- I said desperately, not daring to look at him in the face, I couldn't even explain myself very well, and I knew I was in all my right to break it off, but still.

"And I thought we were going somewhere..."- Namjoon began chuckling humorlessly- "Fucking hell Taehyung, we were doing so well and now you've got to do this!"- He continued as he got progressively louder, I was starting to get scared- "Why? Did you pussy out? Saw Yoongi getting too damn sad for your liking? Drifting Away? Guess what? It is part of the fucking process, wanted him to like you? I'm pretty fucking sure he now does and that's why he is drifting away!"- Namjoon continued, now getting way too close to my face, he was mad, I could see the fire burning in his eyes- "But now you are never going to fully know, and I will never get my shot with the fucking love of my life because you are a pussy"- He finally said now a bit lower, our noses were touching, I could feel his heavy breathing over me as well as tears forming in my eyes.

"Hyung I- "

"Hyung nothing Taehyung, what are we going to tell everyone? Oh, yeah, we had this very strong build-up but our relationship lasted two weeks because... I don't even know, what's the thing? What's a proper explanation?!"- Namjoon started screaming again, he moved away and munched a wall in frustration- "You fucking ruined everything, I should have expected it from you, always seemed so incompetent, now I'll never get my shot with Jimin"- He said lower again, his face once again millimeters away from mine.

"You can't call him the love of your life if he has never even looked your way"- I felt awful, borderline crying, but something just came over me, this indescribable anger for his delusional self, he could not blame me for something that was not even going to work in the first place, what people thought didn't matter either, we broke up and that was it, didn't matter why... I was done with him screaming, so I just blurted it out.

"Shut the fuck up already"- He stopped for a second in shock at my words before speaking hastily with utter despise in his tone... Then in a quick motion, he grabbed me strongly by the waist and planted his lips on mine.

I started panicking, I tried getting him off me, I knew he wanted me to shut up, but I never expected him to kiss me just to stop me. His movements were sloppy, his grip on my waist was getting more aggressive and somehow I could taste cholera on his lips, I was terrified, I kept trying to move away, scream, anything, but I couldn't, I started feeling the air leaving my lungs and the tears streaming down my cheeks... He finally got off, didn't say a single thing, just eyed my distraught figure and left the closet closing the door behind him, leaving me alone in my despair.

Why? What was the need for that? Did he really have to do that to shut me up? To get his anger out? Was this all a cruel joke on me? I was left alone having a full-on breakdown on that closet, all the memories came rushing in once again, why the fuck did this happen? It didn't even make sense... If he had punched me it would have been better, but he didn't because the universe hates me, and it feeds off my suffering... The worst part was I couldn't tell anyone, I was alone, I had been alone all along.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Heeeey, so a mess, but an evolving mess. Guess who was gone for almost a month? This asshole, yay! But I'm back, and I just realized I started writing this fic over a year ago and I haven't been able to finish it, whoops. Thanks for sticking by though, I can't believe I have almost 15k reads??? Like??? Thank U so much???

Have a nice day <3.