Musically In Love

Chapter 12

*Lauren*

C: "Hi, Lo..."

L: "Hi, babe.. it's so good to hear your voice.."

C: "Yours too.. Lolo, I need to speak to you about something that's been bothering me.." as she said it, it felt like someone had taken a needle and pierced it into my chest.

Taking a deep breath, I replied:
L: "Go ahead.. I think I'm ready to hear what you have to say.."

C: "What do you mean? How do you already know what I'm about to say?? Have you become a psychic over the past couple of weeks?" She giggled and it instantly made the prick in my chest disappear.

I smile, and imagine her doing the same, with a smile that reaches her eyes.
L: "No babe, I just have a feeling that I know what you're going to say. Can I just say something before you do, though?"

C: "Okay.."

I close my eyes, take a deep breath in and out and then attempt to pour my soul into what I'm about to say next.

L: "Camila, I don't know what's going through your mind right now and I'm not going to attempt to change your decision but I am going to be honest with you. I owe you that much after these amazing couple of weeks of speaking to you and getting to know you. Camila, I've only just gotten out of a really toxic relationship, but this thing between us is so different. You're different, Camila. And I don't mean this in a bad way.. if you could just hear me out, I'll try my best to explain what I mean.

When I was with Lucy, I always felt like I needed to catch up to her. It felt like she was chasing this train that only she has a boarding ticket for. She was always rushing into the next phase of our relationship without caring if I was ready to move to the next phase or not. It always felt pretty one sided and forced. I did love her, though. She was kind and caring. But I couldn't be with someone who completely controls me and doesn't care about how I feel...

Then you came along, and I swear since the day I met you in the park I knew you would be special to me. I'm not just saying that, babe. You are such a pure soul, Camila. You have such kind heart, and you're the sweetest person I know. You always put others before yourself because you're selfless and you don't even know it. It really is the cutest thing ever to just observe how you exist in a space that you're comfortable in because you become the purest form of yourself. I have never met anyone who makes me feel the way you do. Camila, I find myself taking note of the tiniest details about you and those little things instantly make me fall even harder... and mind you, I'm not a very observant person.

I really don't want to scare you away, Camila. But I wanted to be honest with you and tell you that I really do like you.. a lot. And even though we haven't seen each other since I left New York, speaking to you every day makes me so happy. You don't understand, just seeing your name on my screen when you've sent me a message, sends excitement tingles through my body like a kid waking up and realizing it's Christmas morning.

I know you haven't done this before.. I mean, you've never been with a girl before and everything I'm saying to you now is probably pushing you farther and farther away but I needed to get it off my chest before you tell me that you can't do this anymore.... so there.. that's it, then."

Silence.

I can hear her soft, shaky breath through the phone and it makes my nerves skyrocket.

L: "Camz.. say something please?"

C: "Lolo... wait.."

My mouth feels dry and my throat feels like there's cobwebs blocking my air passage. My hands are clammy. I gulp down in an attempt to clear the cobwebs.