*Lauren*
C: "Hi, Lo..."
L: "Hi, babe.. it's so good to hear your voice.."
C: "Yours too.. Lolo, I need to speak to you about something that's been bothering me.." as she said it, it felt like someone had taken a needle and pierced it into my chest.
Taking a deep breath, I replied:
L: "Go ahead.. I think I'm ready to hear what you have to say.."C: "What do you mean? How do you already know what I'm about to say?? Have you become a psychic over the past couple of weeks?" She giggled and it instantly made the prick in my chest disappear.
I smile, and imagine her doing the same, with a smile that reaches her eyes.
L: "No babe, I just have a feeling that I know what you're going to say. Can I just say something before you do, though?"C: "Okay.."
I close my eyes, take a deep breath in and out and then attempt to pour my soul into what I'm about to say next.
L: "Camila, I don't know what's going through your mind right now and I'm not going to attempt to change your decision but I am going to be honest with you. I owe you that much after these amazing couple of weeks of speaking to you and getting to know you. Camila, I've only just gotten out of a really toxic relationship, but this thing between us is so different. You're different, Camila. And I don't mean this in a bad way.. if you could just hear me out, I'll try my best to explain what I mean.
When I was with Lucy, I always felt like I needed to catch up to her. It felt like she was chasing this train that only she has a boarding ticket for. She was always rushing into the next phase of our relationship without caring if I was ready to move to the next phase or not. It always felt pretty one sided and forced. I did love her, though. She was kind and caring. But I couldn't be with someone who completely controls me and doesn't care about how I feel...
Then you came along, and I swear since the day I met you in the park I knew you would be special to me. I'm not just saying that, babe. You are such a pure soul, Camila. You have such kind heart, and you're the sweetest person I know. You always put others before yourself because you're selfless and you don't even know it. It really is the cutest thing ever to just observe how you exist in a space that you're comfortable in because you become the purest form of yourself. I have never met anyone who makes me feel the way you do. Camila, I find myself taking note of the tiniest details about you and those little things instantly make me fall even harder... and mind you, I'm not a very observant person.
I really don't want to scare you away, Camila. But I wanted to be honest with you and tell you that I really do like you.. a lot. And even though we haven't seen each other since I left New York, speaking to you every day makes me so happy. You don't understand, just seeing your name on my screen when you've sent me a message, sends excitement tingles through my body like a kid waking up and realizing it's Christmas morning.
I know you haven't done this before.. I mean, you've never been with a girl before and everything I'm saying to you now is probably pushing you farther and farther away but I needed to get it off my chest before you tell me that you can't do this anymore.... so there.. that's it, then."
Silence.
I can hear her soft, shaky breath through the phone and it makes my nerves skyrocket.
L: "Camz.. say something please?"
C: "Lolo... wait.."
My mouth feels dry and my throat feels like there's cobwebs blocking my air passage. My hands are clammy. I gulp down in an attempt to clear the cobwebs.
YOU ARE READING
Musically In Love
FanfictionCamila is a typical, brooding NY girl. Her life is in shambles and she struggles to get through it but her BFF Dinah always makes it easier. Does Camila ever find happiness? Will she figure out who she truly is and what she really wants?.. Will she...