Musically In Love

Chapter 17

*Camila*

L: "Camz I... I intentionally hooked up with someone else.."

My ears burn after hearing what Lauren just said. A deep, dark anger starts to boil in the depths of my soul and fights it's way up to the surface. I take a few steps back away from her, shaking my head in disbelief.

C: "Are you serious, Lauren?! One night, and one mistake and you go off and fucking hook up with another girl? What are you?? Mental??"

L: "Camz, please just listen to me.."

C: "No, Lauren!! Are you that weak? You act out on your emotions like a little child and go out and screw someone else because you're upset with me? Is this how you deal with things? Why couldn't you talk to me first?? Instead of assuming and going and fucking things up!"

My voice comes out louder and angrier than expected. Lauren turns and looks at the kitchen entrance fearful that my mom would come rushing in at any moment after hearing the commotion. She quickly turns back and steps closer to me, takes my hands pleadingly.

L: "Ssshhh! Babe, please can we go talk somewhere privately so I can explain?"

Still mortified, I throw her hands off mine and strongly disagree, explaining that I will not be going anywhere with her and that she should just leave. She persists and refuses obey my wishes.

L:"No, Camz... I'm not going anywhere! Listen to me!!"

Her voice firmer now and she pulls on my arms to make it clear that she wasn't leaving.

L: "I did not 'screw' anyone, Camila! I promise you!" she spoke close to my lips.

C: "What?? You literally just said you hooked up with someone else?"

L: "I think you and I have two different definitions of what 'hooking up is' Camila".. I did not sleep with anyone. I did kiss someone, though. But I did it with my emotions out of control. You have to understand that after I left here last night, my heart was on crutches. Your mother forbid me never to come back here again, Camila. I was distraught and before I knew it, I ended up at Saturn. I got drunk and I kissed some girl. That's it, nothing else happened. I promise you! I made a mistake, Camz. I'm really sorry..."

Somehow, her explanation was more reassuring than I expected it to be. She didn't sleep with anyone and my heart started beating again out of relief. I still felt really hurt and just the thought of picturing her kissing someone else, sharing that vulnerability of herself with someone else made my insides ache. I wanted to cry, scream and throw a fit but my body just stood motionless. Like a stone wall.

L: "Camz, can we leave please? I told your mom that you're coming to help me move my Abeula's things to the new apartment. We can go to the park and talk... Please, I'm begging you?"

As mad as I was, I wasn't ready to say goodbye. So I nodded and followed her to the front door. Just before I could shut it behind me, I hear my mom shout for me to make sure that I'm back home for dinner. I agree and shut the door behind me. For the first couple of minutes, we walked in silence and then she spoke.

L: "Camz.. Can you say something please?"

C: "What do you want me to say, Lauren?"

L: "I want you to be honest with me, babe. I was honest about what had happened and I regret it and I'm really sorry that I was weak and gave in to temptation. So tell me what you're thinking about all this, how you're feeling? Do you think we still have a chance?"