Musically In Love

Chapter 21

*Lauren*

Okay why did I just do that? Stop acting on impulse, Lauren! Now I have to actually get ready and go out to meet Lucy.

I slip out of my heels and walk towards my closet. The Grill used to be our spot. We'd go every Wednesday night for steak and wine. It was our date night. My heart feels very nostalgic right now and I find myself oddly smiling at the rack of clothes in front of me.

No Lauren.

I need to meet with Lucy for the sole purpose of finally getting closure so I can move on and be with Camila. I shake my head to snap out of it and I grab my black jeans, black boots, white crop top and black leather jacket from the closet. After a quick hot shower, I slip into my clothes, fix my hair and touch up my make up and scurry out the door.

It's a perfect night tonight. I look up and immediately spot the moon- full in all its glory and my heart flutters because Camila's face immediately fills my mind. The moon always reminds me of her because of the bracelet she wears of mine. Her smile, her laugh, everything that encapsulates her. I really need to get closure and cut ties completely with Lucy so I can move on and give my all to Camila , because this really isn't fair on her.

The Grill is buzzing this evening. As I walk through the door, the waitress recognises me and asks if I'd like my usual table. Out of habit I nod and she leads the way. There's a live band playing tonight and it give the place a really nice rustic, jazzy vibe. The most delicious aroma from the open kitchen fills the air- of fresh herbs, garlic, and probably a well- seasoned steak that is sitting on the flaming hot grill.

I take my seat and order a bottle of wine for the table while I wait for Lucy to arrive. I don't bother to look at the menu because I already know what I'll be having. My usual. The waitress knows that too, because she doesn't place a menu in front of me but rather confirms if I'll be having what I always have. She places a menu at the seat opposite me and walks away to fetch the wine.

Two glasses of wine later, Lucy decides to make an appearance. She walks through the restaurant in what seems like slow motion and I watch as heads turn to stare as they usually do when she's all dressed up. She's in a skin tight, strappy black dress that stops halfway down her thigh, with matching patent black heels. Her hair looks bouncy and like it just got a fresh blowout a few minutes before she got out of the car. She looks beautiful! I cannot deny it. She is a very attractive woman.

She walks directly to the table, kisses me on the cheek while apologising for being late and then sits down at the table on the chair opposite me, going on about why she was late. I can feel myself stuck in this daze, so I snap myself out of it and cut her off halfway through her story.

Lauren: "I'm sorry, but the reason I wanted to meet was to get the closure that I need to finally move on. Not to really hear any excuses about why you had me sitting her for an hour. So let's not tip toe around the issue okay?"

Lucy: "Oh.. okay well that's not an issue, Laur. We can definitely do that. What would you like to say?"

Lauren: "Well first off, I don't want this to end up being malicious and petty. Let's be adults about it, shall we? Secondly, once this dinner is over, so are we. I don't think it's healthy to be in contact with or to see your ex around all the time when you're not together anymore, don't you agree?"

Lucy: "That's a very harsh way to put it, but I definitely understand. You're trying to be the better person here and you want things to be good with you and your new girl. I get that. But you need to also understand that, what you and I share, won't ever come close to anything you have with anyone going forward. So don't try and look for things in other women that you saw in me because let me tell you honey, you won't ever find it."

Lauren: "That's enough. Honestly, Lucy! Do you think that our relationship was the best thing on this planet? And that you were this gift-of-a-girlfriend sent from God?? Because here's a news flash 'honey': it wasn't and you weren't! You are a very manipulative person, Lucy and I don't think you realise that. You feel like you need to be in control of everything and everyone around you and that is a very toxic trait to have. I let you walk over me for a long time, but I'm glad I eventually came to my senses and broke things off with you. It felt like the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders to be honest. You were my best friend, Lucy! And our friendship was amazing- I could tell you absolutely anything and I trusted you with my life. And then one night, and one drunken kiss later, things changed for the worst. You changed for the worst. You fucked it all up! You weren't the same girl that I was best friends with. You were someone totally different. But I loved you and I didn't ever wanna lose you so I stuck around until I finally reached my breaking point. And you betrayed my trust in the worst possible way!"

Lucy: "Okay first of all, I was drunk! And I apologised like a million times!"

Lauren: "You apologised??? Apologising isn't going to take back the fact that you told everyone that I was given up for adoption after I was born because my real mother was raped and didn't want to keep 'a product of rape'. That's something I told you as my fucking best friend!! And then we have one single fight and you get drunk and spill my whole life story out in front of everyone at that sorority party! I will never forgive you for that!"

The waitress comes back with a new bottle of wine now because the one I had ordered is surprisingly finished. I clear my throat and straighten up while the waitress pours the wine. I notice that I'm drinking way more than I should be and I know that it's because Lucy triggers me whenever she behaves the way that she does. I am officially tipsy, and starving. Luckily our food comes a few minutes later and I immediately begin to cut into my steak while Lucy continues to defend herself for the ten-thousandth time. No excuse will ever change or take back what she did.

The meat immediately melts in my mouth and the flavours begin to explode like someone had lit up fireworks in my mouth. Either this is the best steak I've ever had in my life or I'm just super drunk.

After a few fork fulls of food, I set my cutlery down and look up at Lucy who now has finally shut up and is staring at me like she's waiting for an answer to a question. Unfortunately, I stopped listening to her speak from the moment I put that first bite into my mouth.

Lauren: "What?..."

Lucy: "What do you mean what?! Were you not listening to me?? I asked you if you still love me...?"

Lauren: "I don't. How can I? I feel hurt and betrayed. I didn't just lose a girlfriend, Lucy! I lost a best friend too."

I pick up my glass and finish the last sip of my sixth glass of wine. Okay, now the room is beginning to spin. I put my hands flat down on the table in front of me as if to keep me steady and for one second, I close my eyes to compose myself and then...

Blank.

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