Musically In Love

Chapter 14

*Camila*

I can't believe what happened today. I never expected things to turn out this way at all. My chest physically hurts as I'm lying in bed and all I can think about is the hurt in Lauren's eyes just before she left my house earlier. What was I thinking bringing Lauren here? I know how my mother can be and I should have spoken up and explained everything to her in that moment, but for some reason I just felt so afraid and intimidated standing next to my mother. I never, in my wildest dreams, thought that my mom would be homophobic.

I turn to lay on my side, grab the pillow next to me and bring it close up against my body. Laying there in a fetal position, clinging to it for a sense of comfort, I tried to replay the traumatic events of the evening.

My mom insisted that she wanted to speak to Lauren for a minute and I watched her open the front door. I remember feeling completely terrified, even though I had no reason to feel that way. Dinah came back inside and looked at me with such guilt in her eyes. I was so confused. She walked up to me and held my hand, looked at me and with tears in her eyes, said the most hurtful words that she's ever said to me;

D: "Mila, I'm so sorry.. It's my fault! I just wanted to make sure the surprise played off perfectly and I told your mom about it... I told her everything, Camila. I didn't know she would react this way or that she had these feelings about this type of thing.. I... I don't know why I thought it would be okay, but now she knows and she's giving Lauren a big lecture about it outside and it's all my fault! "

My chest wants to fucking explode and I suddenly feel nauseous. I let go of her hand. And watched her arm fall back down to her side and my instant reaction was to move away from Dinah to prevent myself from hurting her. Rage built up inside me. I couldn't control it. I shook my head as tears fell from my eyes and slowly backed away from her as she stood there, pleading with me, begging me to try and understand.

But I couldn't.

My best friend!? How could she do that without thinking it through first!?

C: "Dinah... I can't believe you did that!..please just.. Just leave!"

I watched as her head dropped and she turned around and walked out the door without looking back.

I couldn't feel a thing in that moment. I was numb. I felt like I was in a bad dream and everything was falling apart and I couldn't run or scream or get out of it- the only thing I could do was cry. I couldn't contain it. The tears ran down my cheeks in a constant downpour and my chest was heaving violently. My legs carried me quickly up to my room where they gave way from under me and caused me to fall face first onto my bed and in that moment, I just felt my body, mind and soul just give in completely. I sobbed so hard, my body convulsed. I had never felt pain like this before. Ever.

My mom tried to come and talk to me at least 10 times but I ignored her knocking and reverse psychology comments in an attempt to get me to unlock the door and let her in. She was very persistent, but the more she knocked, the more angry I got. Eventually, she said goodnight through the door and retired from her job of aggravating me.

So many questions are going through my mind at this point; What does my mom want to speak about? Why did Dinah think it was okay to air out something that she knew I wasn't ready to tell anyone about? Did I just lose my Best Friend? What did my mother say to Lauren?

LAUREN!!

I grab my phone off the side table and click on Lauren's name in Messages. I don't even know where to start or what to say. My fingers feel numb and shaky. Lauren is probably so hurt, so confused and scared. I need to see her, but I know she probably hates me after tonight. I don't know what my mom said to her but I need to see her so I can explain everything to her. I take a deep breath and my thumbs gain their confidence again.

"Hi , Lo. I'm so sorry about what happened tonight! It wasn't supposed to be like this! I really need a chance to explain everything? Can I please see you tomorrow? Please text me back! Xx"

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*Lauren*

S: "Oh, Lauren. You don't have to pretend. I know you're a Lesbian. And my daughter will not go down that road!"

You've got to be fucking kidding me!!!???

L: "Wow, uhm.. I'm ss..sorry.. But I haven't done anything wrong? Camila is not... gay. I honestly didn't mean to cause any trouble, Ma'am."

S: "You're absolutely right. She is not gay. And I trust that it will stay that way. Now, you're free to leave, but do me a favour... And don't come back here again."

L: "Yes.. Okay.. I'm.. I'm really sorry.."

Walking down the steps of Camila's porch, I struggle to hold back the tears that are fighting so hard to burst from my eyes. My heart is broken. My chest is aching and all I want to do is punch someone's face in!

The cool breeze of the night feels refreshing on my hot skin as I walk home. I have never felt so embarrassed and humiliated in my life. Camila didn't even step in or say a single word. She didn't even attempt to make me feel comfortable or welcome. I had this inner hope that she would burst through the front door at any moment and stand up against her mother. But nothing. She left me alone and it hurt so much hearing those words leave her mother's lips.

My mind is a mess. So many things are swirling around in there that before I knew it, I'm standing in front of Saturn. I open the door and make my way through the moving bodies towards the bar. Four tequila shots later, and with a mojito in my hand, I'm standing against the bar, watching the crowd move to the beat. My thoughts are so far away right now that I don't even hear the music. All I see are flashing lights and moving bodies. The alcohol has definitely kicked in and I can feel my body swaying slightly and just before I stumble, someone grabs me by the arm and helps me onto a bar stool.

"Woah woah woah! Becareful there, beautiful!"

I look up with the desire to thank my knight in shining armour and my heart skips a beat when we lock eyes.

Erin.

L: "Erin! Why, hello blue eyes! Surprise bumping into you here again, eh?" I smirk and attempt to be charming through my drunken sloppyness.

She laughs and that dimple on her left cheek actually manages to put a genuine smile on my face.

E: "Still quite the charmer, I see? You're not going to run away like Forest again are you?"

I look down at my drink and shake my head while I stir my drink with my straw before taking a sip.

My phone buzzes and I hold up a finger for Erin to hold on just a second. I unlock my phone and her name pops up on my screen. My heart flutters. And my stomach churns. I click the message.

Camz:

"Hi , Lo. I'm so sorry about what happened tonight! It wasn't supposed to be like this! I really need a chance to explain everything? Can I please see you tomorrow? Please text me back! Xx"

Sigh.

I exit the message, turn my phone off and slip it back into my pocket. I take a long swig of my drink, place it on the bar behind me and with both hands I grab onto Erin's waist and slowly guide her towards me until she's standing in between my legs. Biting on my bottom lip, I ask boldly:

L: "Sooo, I was thinking.. why don't we pick up where we left off??"

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