Musically In Love

Chapter 24

*Camila*

My mind is completely consumed. I have to repack the bread baskets for tomorrow, but my brain and my body are completely disconnected- all I can see is Lauren's face. It's so clear, I can see the perfect freckles around her nose, her smile that reaches right up to her eyes. And her eyes, oh those eyes! Piercing green depths of emotion that takes my breath away every single time I look into them..

I'm standing over the pile of freshly baked bread, staring down at it blankly.

Is this really happening? We were so happy! And so in love! How did things change so quickly? What did I do wrong, Lauren?

The pit of my tummy feels unsettled. It's churning uncontrollably and releasing bursts of anxiety as it rolls about inside me. My palms are clammy and my face is suddenly dripping. My eyes are welling up quickly and I can't control it..

"Five o'clock, Lauren. If you're not here by five, then I'm done."

I snap myself out of it and wipe the tears off my face with my sleeve. I kneel down on the floor next to the bread and begin sorting it. I try my best to keep busy to make the time go faster and to help ignore the aching in my chest.

It's 4:45 and Mr. Nelson and I are getting ready to lock up. The anxiety starts boiling up in the pit of my tummy again and I can't help but sneak a peek out of the window as I grab my bag, just to see if Lauren is already waiting outside. She isn't. The anxiety builds up even more and I don't even hear Mr. Nelson asking me for the keys because he ends up tapping me on the shoulder to get my attention.

*

Mr. N: "You doing okay there Camila?.."

I hand the keys over to him and nod with a fake smile plastered across my face. I follow close behind him and watch as he locks the door.

Mr. N: "Do you need a lift today dear?.."

C: "No, thank you Mr. Nelson. Lauren is coming to pick me up."

Mr. N: "Alright then. See you tomorrow. Be safe!"

I watch as Mr. Nelson drives off into the distance and for a split second I forget, but then my heart instantly drops to my tummy and I fling my hand up to check the time on my watch.

05:00.

I take a deep breath in and out and watch the warm air leave my mouth in a light cloud in front of me. Maybe she's late? I walk up to the curb and try to see if I can see her coming from both sides of the road but there's absolutely no sign of her. A part of me wants to wait just a little longer, but I owe it to myself to stick to what I said. She was supposed to be here at 05:00 and she isn't, so that's it then...

I slowly turn away and start walking home. For once, I don't feel anxious. I don't feel anything. Just numb. There's a slight icy breeze this evening that feels like needles on my arms as it blows against me. This is probably the third time that I've forgotten to bring a jacket to work. But tonight, I think I need it. The wind is the only thing stopping me from completely losing it right now.

I'm around the corner from home and my body is covered in chills. I've completely lost the feeling in my lips and ears. My fingers are pretty numb too. The front porch lights are already on which only means Mom is home early. I trudge up the steps and then something catches the corner of my eye..

Lauren: "Babe.."

She slowly gets up off the bench at the end of the porch and starts walking towards me. Her hair so perfectly tousled around her face and the porch light hits her face so perfectly that she almost seems like some supernatural being. The sound of her voice sends chills down my spine.

My heart is pounding like a drum against my ribs and my shoes feel so heavy, like they're super glued to the ground. The anger inside me wants to escape so badly but my heart can't come to terms with the fact that she actually showed up.

She stops in front of me and reaches up, cupping my icy face in her warm hands. This sends shockwaves through my entire body and my body jolts slightly at her touch. I close my eyes for a split second to gain composure and open them again. She's still standing there. Looking into my eyes. She's real. This is real.

Lauren: "Babe?.. I'm so sorry! Traffic was crazy on the way here, and I tried to call, I promise. Your phone kept going straight to voicemail and I left like four messages.."

I lift my face out of her grasp and try to walk past her.

Camila: "Yeah, I broke my phone.." I mumble as I push past her.

She reaches for my hand and the warmness of her touch sends the same jolt through my entire body again. Her touch is so paralysing. I turn to look at her and that's when I see it. Her eyes are filled with sadness... filled with.. fear?

My heart is not strong enough to handle the truth right now. I looks down and try to pry my hand out of hers but she won't let go.

Lauren: "Camila, please.. don't go. You asked me to be here, and I came. I'm here, babe. And I'm ready to be completely honest with you if you could just give me the chance? Please can we just talk?"

She takes a hold of both my hands and turns me toward her. I can't get my head to tilt up to look at her eyes again because, at this point, it feels like it will kill me. She's waiting for me to say something but I'm looking down at our hands, her thumb softly rubbing the top of my hands- it actually makes me feel some sense of reassurance.. that its okay, that things won't be as bad as I think.

My eye catches the bracelet on my wrist..

"Let this pendent always be a reminder that I will strive everyday to bring you the moon and keep you happy for as long as you'll have me.." - her words pierce through my memory like a really sharp thorn.

With tears in my eyes, I let myself loose from her grasp. I unclasp the bracelet from my wrist and catch it as it falls off.

She gasps.

Lauren: "Camz, no.. please?? I'm begging you??..".

I can hear the crack in her voice as she pleads with me and hearing it, immediately breaks something inside me. I still can't bring myself to look into those eyes. So I slowly reach for her hand and lift it up and gently drop the bracelet into her palm.

And before she can stop me again, I turn and quickly walk into the house, closing the door behind me, leaving her standing there on the porch.

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