Black Coffee :|: America x Russia :|: Countryhumans

Act I, Chapter Nineteen

"Why the bloody hell do people think I'm good at befriending people? Does anyone forget that one time I started a war? Or that other time I started a war? Or the other time I -"

"We get it dad, you're a terrible country. Get over yourself," America chuckled as he scrolled through his phone.

"Yeah, but at least you didn't make an atom bomb - or a million!" Australia snickered, earning a playful punch in the shoulder from her eldest brother.

"I don't have a million, Aus."

"I beg to differ ya sadist-"

"Amour (French: Love), you're going to be fantastic, I just know it," France assured, cutting off her children's bickering while she slipped on a very fluffy wool coat. "I'm sure whoever Canada picked will have a very accepting family, right érable?" (French: Maple)

America chuckled when he heard his mother use his nickname for Canada. It had caught on amongst the family, like most of the nicknames he awarded his siblings. Canada usually got called on as Maple, Australia as Roo and New Zealand as Kiwi. America even had his own nickname of either Star-boy or Space-boy, the family couldn't quite decide. Canada had once called him Soda since he had heard Australia call him that all the time; but he got a stern scolding from his younger sister for "not being creative" and she told him that if he was to call America that, he had to credit her every time. Needless to say, Australia was the only one to call him Soda from then on.

"Oh yeah, Uki's family is so lovely and understanding," Canada confirmed, smiling at the memory of his dinner with the family. "Their dads were super nice and their siblings were really funny."

"'Their'?" Britain asked with a raised eyebrow. "I thought Ukraine was a boy?"

New Zealand, who had been quietly reading in the corner, rolled her eyes at her father's absent-mindedness.

"Dad, Maple said Ukraine was gender fluid, remember?" New Zealand sighed. "Their gender changes on how they feel each day. Since I'm guessing Canada hasn't talked to them yet today, or at least hasn't asked them, they're neutral until we can confirm they're either female or male."

Britain groaned, throwing back his head and slumping into the comfy navy armchair he was nestled in. "Goodness gracious, when I was younger if you wanted to be different you just had to change your hair colour. Now kids change their gender."

France made an affectionately exasperated noise as she threw a pillow at her husband's head.

"Chérie (French: Sweetheart), you can't say things like that when no one can tell if you're being sarcastic or not."

Britain chuckled at the pillow's appearance and mockingly frowned at France, "my sarcasm wasn't obvious?"

"Dad, you sound serious 24/7," America mused. He was sitting behind Australia on their spacious couch and braiding her long auburn hair, having long-since abandoned looking at week-old memes on Instagram.

"I knooooowwww," the UK whined, throwing up his arms dramatically. When in front of family he was always so extra.

"When do we need to be at the rink?" Kiwi asked Canada, biting her lip. She was probably the only one who was worried about being late out of her siblings besides Canada. So really, Australia and America were the only family members who were being super chill and weren't fussing. Weirdos.

"Eleven," Canada answered immediately, his eyes darting back and forth between his sister's face and the Eiffel Tower clock on the beige wall.

"Why did we have to go ice skating again?" Australia grumbled, munching on some strange food she had just created called "fairy bread". It was white bread with butter covered in sprinkles or "hundreds and thousands" as she called them. She had been trying to convince all of her family members to try the stuff but had so far only managed to win over America, to absolutely no one's surprise.