Black Coffee :|: America x Russia :|: Countryhumans

(OPT. B) Chapter Sixty-Four

OH MY GOD

IS THIS AN ACTUAL CHAPTER???

Yes, actually. What are the odds!

I'm sorry about basically disappearing from Wattpad, randomly slapping a collab where two Americas fall in "love" for God knows why, and then fucking yeeting myself out of existence again. 

If you want an explanation, here it is: 

(you don't have to read this if you don't care and I don't blame you man)

The book was never supposed to go in this direction. Y'know when you've come up with a story idea and you know how to start it, you know how to end it, but you just fuckin' make up everything in the middle? Yea. That's me. That's what this was. 

Originally this was just going to be a pretty straight-forward plot, linear, easy, clear, yadda yadda. But then for some reason my brain just kept spewing up ideas and now the story looks like fucking y = sin x. 

Big mistake number 1.

What was originally going to be a simple, vomiting black shit plot turned into an angsty small black book and a ghost girl haunting America who for some reason doesn't know how to sit in a damn chair. Now there's three ghosts. Oh shit, is that a mega ghost?? Nevermind, that's a fucking GOD I guess. Now they're both in uni, now Vietnam is a blackmailer?? That was absolutely NOT the original plan. I was just driving home one night and was like, "Y'know what would be f u n ?"

Ella. No. Stop. Get some help.

Then by the time I finish all that controversial shit, everyone's mad at me and now I'm mad at myself and I'm just like, "Maybe I should put a poll up and see what people want?"

This was big mistake number 2.

Not only did this poll cause me to double down and make two chapters weekly, but it also required me to turn everything on its fucking head. And the worst part about it? I didn't want to do it. At all. I wanted it to be OVER. I am DONE with this FUCKING BOOK. I hate writing angst and I hate digging myself a deeper hole very single fucking week.

It started out with me thinking about Journal 3 and thinking about the code I already put in the book and how no one's found it yet and I was like ooooo, what if I do another code for fun? That would be cool and spooky and mysterious!

Then, of course, people wanted answers. They wanted to know who and why and how and what and shit now I have to write a whole new plot point. Now there's a second god and a goddamn war I guess? 

Option B just turned into me trying to one-up myself with worse and worse plots and now I'm in a hole so deep I can't see the sky anymore. I've been so disheartened about this stupid mess I made for myself that I haven't been motivated to write in like a month. And honestly, after writing all of this I don't want to write this chapter anymore. But I will because you guys deserve it.

Also, PLEASE don't blame yourselves in the comments. Trust me, this is my fault and my people pleasing problems. This was in no way anything wrong with you guys, you're all incredibly supportive and I appreciate each and every one of you. And I want to write this book to make all of you happy, but I know you guys won't want me to write it if it makes me feel shitty. 

I couldn't have asked for a better audience and I genuinely love all of you so much.

I'm sorry for such a long break, but I think I might either delete option B or just discontinue it because I can't really dig myself out of a hole with a shovel in a timely manner. This ain't minecraft.