Black Coffee :|: America x Russia :|: Countryhumans

Act II, Chapter Thirty

"Everyone suited up?"

"We're going to a lakehouse, dad, not saving New York," groaned a striped country.

"Geez, when did the fun police get here?"

"When you opened your mouth," America replied with a smug grin, causing Australia to high five him.

"GET REKT, DAD!" Australia cheered, making her father poke his tongue out.

"No! I'll be doing the wrecking here missy!"

"Ok boomer," America scoffed, getting another high five from his sister.

"God, why did that become a thing? You sounded so smug too."

That's because I am smug.

"Why?"

Because I just ok boomer'd him, that's like the ultimate power move.

"But you're-"

Shush.

"...Did you just fucking shush me?"

Yes. Now shush.

Britain turned to his wife who was loading up the minivan with a pained expression, "what does that even mean? They know I'm not a baby boomer, right?"

"Please stop trying to understand them, chérie (French: sweetheart)," France sighed, patting her husband's arm patronisingly. "It's painful to watch."

Britain pouted and opened his mouth to reply when he was interrupted by New Zealand dashing past him to the front of the driveway which was basically half a kilometre away.

"No running!" Britain called after her, which didn't slow her down.

"What are you, a hall monitor?" America snickered, getting yet another high five from his sister.

"BOOM! THREE FOR THREE OLD MAN!"

"What?? That wasn't even that clever!"

You're just jealous.

"Of what??"

How cool I am.

"Oh shut up, you're about as cool as a laptop that's been on for nine hours."

Wait...you know what a laptop is?? I thought you were just a glorified Pocahontas!

Okay, first of all: racist.

Britain just looked at them absolutely perplexed, shaking his head. Canada came up behind his older brother and younger sister and chuckled.

"Dad, why do you look like that confused guy meme?"

"Damn, Maple's right, you look just like that meme!" America chuckled. "Except less black."

Canada elbowed him in the side, causing him to hiss in pain and hold his "wound", glaring at his younger brother.

"What gives man??"

"You can't say stuff like that!"

"What, black?"

Canada elbowed him again.

"I mean, he's right."

"OW! Dude! Not cool."

Britain just looked confused again, turning to his starry daughter, "What are they blathering about?"

"It's this dude who looks at someone really confused with like this half-smile and there are question marks around him. It's great."