Black Coffee :|: America x Russia :|: Countryhumans

Act I, Chapter Twenty-Five

"Ok, kiss, marry, kill: Japan, China aaaaaaaaand Canada."

"Hmmm, I guess marry China 'cause he's fuckin loaded, kill Canada because ew cooties and kiss Japan 'cause it's not like I haven't before."

"What?!"

America snickered as he watched Russia's eyes widen in surprise, patting the taller on the shoulder.

"Dude, chill."

"I'm sorry, let me get my head around this," Russia muttered, rubbing his temples with one hand and pointing to the floor with the other as they walked. "You have kissed Japan?"

"Yup - it's a funny story actually!" America laughed, swinging his arms back and forth. "Me and Jap-Jap were at a party in my first year of college, her third, and just went fuckin' ham on the alcohol. Whisky, wine, vodka, beer, scoth, rum, sake - we had everything, you name it! I'm pretty sure we permantly destroyed our livers."

"Sounds like a good time," Russia chuckled.

"Then, as most parties go, someone grabbed an empty beer bottle and called out to everyone to play spin the bottle. Japan sat next to me on the left, Mexico on my right - who I didn't know at the time. So it was my turn and I spun the bottle and it landed on Japan, yadda yadda yadda, you know the drill."

"That wasn't a very interesting story," Russia pouted, disappointed.

America only grinned, "No, I haven't gotten to the best part yet! Everyone started cooing and teasing and shit and Japan got really uncomfortable. My, being the dumb gay drunk I was, decided to come out of the closet right then and there and yell to everyone I was a fat gay rainbow dinosaur. No onw believed me, of course, so I obviously took to the last resort."

America turned to Russia as they strolled on, grinning wildly and using his hands in a very animated way as he half acted out the events of his drunken endeavours.

"I grabbed the nearest guy, which happened to be Mexico, and just smashed our faces together in the most sloppy, gross kiss of my life."

Russia cringed and made a gagging noise, causing the two to laugh.

"I mean it, I didn't even look properly and he was like a foot shorter than me so my mouth wasn't even really on his and the amount of drool was just - "

"Ew, ew, ew, god stop!" Russia cried, holding his stomach out of both disgust and laughter.

America beamed proudly, patting his back, "And THAT, my Slavic friend, is how I simultaneously stood up for my lesbian bestie and met one of my closest friends to date in what I could only call the best of first impressions, all while being drunk off my ass."

Russia sighed, kind of relieved the story was over. "Although that was disgusting, I have to hand it to you - you're a fantastic story teller."

"Why, شكرا-" (Arabic: Thank you.)

Russia stopped in the middle of the pathway of their college campus, tilting his head in confusion at the smaller. He opened his mouth to ask America what he had just said, but stopped when he saw the other's face.

America had also halted in the middle of the walkway, now holding his throat with a gaping mouth. Behind his sunglasses his eyes were wide with surprise and fear, his whole body trembling more and more violently with every second that passed between them.

"America, are you oka-"

"Sto bene! (Italian: I'm fine)" America interrupted indignantly, tensing more when he realised he still wasn't speaking English. "天哪天哪天哪-" (Chinese: Oh god, oh god, oh god-)

"America I can't understand you!" Russia's brow furrowed iun dismay as he watched his shorter friend stumble backwards, hand still firmly clamped around his neck.

"Do you need me to call for help!?"

"ไม่ฉันต้องการให้คุณจากฉันไปคนเดียว!" (Thai: No, I need you to leave me alone!)

"I don't-"

Before Russia could finish speaking, America began hacking violently, gasping for air as he clawed at his own throat as a strange liquid seeped from underneath his sunglasses and down his cheeks, splattering onto the floor below. Russia reached for him, but he turned away, coughing the same strange liquid out into his hand.

The substance was black, as black as coal on a moonless night. It was thick too, slowly dripping onto the floor in large black blobs, exploding like bombs on the ground and flicking tiny pieces of shrapnel onto the two countries.

"America!"

Russia swivelled around to see Antartica nearly bowl him over, Greenland and Mexico hot on his heels. Once the icy country reached his friend, he wrapped him in a hug and rubbed his back as he spat out more of the black goop, trying to offer non-verbal encouragement. Greenland saw fit to pick up America and lug him over his shoulder, pressing his forehead to his boyfriend's to assure that he had everything covered.

Mexico, however, decided the best idea would be to scream at America's name at his face.

"Will you stop that!?" Greenland snapped, whipping his head around to glare at the North American country as he marched in the direction of his and Antartica's dorm room.

"Sorry, I just wanted to snap him out of it," Mexico murmured, trailing after the three taller countries with uncertainty.

Russia shook his head and ran in front of the group, walking backwards while adressing them, "What's happening to him?!"

Antartica looked at him solemnly as he continued to try to comfort America through back rubs and soft pats.

"Ak dievs, kāpēc tam vajadzēja būt tagad? Visu laiku kāpēc (Latvian: Oh god, why did it have to be now? Of all times why) ngayon? Sumisigaw, sobrang sigaw - at dugo! sobrang dugo... (Filipino: now? Screaming, so much screaming - and blood! So much blood...) Waarom hebben ze me verlaten? Was ik niet goed genoeg? (Dutch: Why did they leave me? Was I not good enough?) Ich wollte niemanden verletzen, das bin ich (German: I didn't mean to hurt anyone, I'm) извини, я не это имел ввиду, (Russian: so sorry, I didn't mean it,) proszę wybacz mi!" (Polish: please forgive me!)

"Why is he doing that? He said he was sorry, why is he sorry?"

Greenland turned down his questions with a cold glare, walking faster as he felt the country clinging to him undergo another violent coughing spasm.

"Questions aren't going to help him, so you better stop fucking talking or leave," he scowled.

Russia gulped and shut his mouth tight as he watched Mexico fumble with a spare key to get the dorm open.

He didn't want to look at America.

He was afraid of what he might see.

~~~~~~~~

Ah yes, some delicious edge after that cutesy one-off.

Dw everything will be fiiiiiiiiiiiiine.

...probably.