I Don't Need You || JORI || Girl x Girl

One - The Beginning

TORI'S P.O.V ||

*TRIGGER WARNING*

"Tori, sweetie. It's time to wake up for school. You don't want to be late on your first day. That will give everyone a bad impression of you. They'll think you're a hooligan. Plus, I made pancakes!"

My mom shouted up the stairs, hoping I'd hear her. I did of course, and I sat up, stretching as I went, it wasn't so much because she'd asked me nicely to get up that I did, it was primarily the promise of pancakes. I sat and thought, it didn't really matter what time I woke up, and what time I manage to arrive, everyone would hate me regardless.

Today, I start at a new school, Hollywood Arts. It's a special school. No, not like a school for the handicapped, or intellectually disabled, it's for the gifted. Drama, music, art, dance. Everything is taught there. Originally, I didn't mean to get invited to join the school, but my older sister used to go there, her name was Trina, and she's dead. Sometimes I miss her, but then I remember what a bitch she was to me, and I'm happy that she's gone, but then I feel horrible for thinking that way. It's a vicious circle. It took me a couple months to come to terms with her death, and now, I'm fully accepting of it, and it doesn't affect me as much as it used to, but some days it's bad, but that's to be expected, right?

So, onto to how I got into this school. Trina was meant to play the lead in a musical, written by my new friend, Andre. Me, mom and dad, all showed up to see her and cheer her on, but she never showed up, so, due to the fact Andre had told them that I helped them both to practice the play, and that I knew the lines, and the songs practically off by heart, I went on in her place. No one complained about that, in fact they seemed happier that I was going on instead, but it might be because Trina sounded like a strangled cat when she sang. It was a horrid, screeching sound, but out of politeness, no one ever complained at home, besides, even if we had complained, she wouldn't have listened, she never did, she was adamant that she sounded just like an angel singing, and that we were all wrong, and just 'hating on her'.

Anywaysssss, I performed her part, and at the end of it, Principal Eikner asked me if I wanted to join the high school. I mean, obviously I said yes, I couldn't just pass up on an opportunity like that. You know, an opportunity to finally get somewhere in my life, and have some decent connections at the end of it. Just after I'd said yes, a police man came to speak to us. Trina had been found hanging from a bridge, she had committed suicide. She left a note. I still remember what it said;

"I'm sorry. Mom. You were always proud of Tori, but never of me. Dad. You were never around to see that I had problems. And Tori, my beautiful sister, Tori. You were always more talented than me. I love you. Goodbye."

After that, my mom started to blame me for her death. I couldn't handle it any more, so I started to self harm. At first, it was one cut, then it was multiple, on every inch of my body that I could cover. I was hospitalized several times from self harm, but my family thought it was all just for attention, not that I was actually upset or anything, or that my mom blaming me for Trina's death had caused me to develop numerous mental health problems, but whatever.

I dragged my body out of bed, scratching my head as I tried not to get my fingers caught in the crooks. One struggle from having long hair, you get terrible bed head, and that hair on the back of your head always gets so knotted and tangled. I grabbed my brush from a top my bedside table, and began to comb out all the knots.

Fuck. I didn't think combing out my hair would hurt this much.

Heading into my bathroom, I tripped over my shoes. They were black. Nearly everything I owned was black, mainly due to the fact that black goes with literally everything. They were vans. Size 6. I walked into the bathroom, that was joined to my bedroom, and headed straight towards the shower, I stripped off my clothes and climbed inside, sliding the door closed.