Quiet Is Viølent (Twenty One Pilots Fanfiction)

Reminding me of who I killed

"Well done, you turned up(!)" Xander claps his hands sarcastically. " But seriously though, are you alright?" He smiles sympathetically.
"Yeah, I'm okay. Where's Josh?" I ask.
"Didn't I tell you? He's gone away for a few days, like a mini tour for his band around Ohio..."
"Oh..." I say disappointedly, not because Josh wasn't here, but because Tyler didn't tell me. I knows it's none of my business, but I still would've liked to have known. I sit behind the counter and wait for customers to come in, but surprisingly no one comes.
Xander is out the back, sorting out some new deliveries we must of had this morning. Although it frustrated me that Tyler didn't bother telling me where he was going, I still love him so much it hurts. His existence kills me, but I know that nothing will happen between us. I sigh hopelessly, thinking over and over the same words
'Life sucks'
My life does suck, there's nothing keeping me going, and nothing stopping from going. I want to leave, but I don't want to hurt the people around me, even though it's them that's hurting me. My dad springs to mind. I hate him, he thought I wouldn't care if my own mother was only given a few days to live. I hated her as well, I hated the way she treated me like the scum of the earth. She's probably the reason I turned out like this. A stray tear escapes from the edge of my eye. I let it run down and fall into the counter, and that's when my mind gets the better of me:
Just give up,
You're worthless,
Go on, die. No one would care, and if they did they'd just forget you. Go on, I dare you! DO IT ARIA! WE KNOW YOU WANT TO!
My thoughts are practically screaming at me, I cup my hands over my ears, even though they're coming from the inside. I silently scream.
GIVE UP ARIA, YOU'RE WORTHLESS!
I clench my eyes and wait for them to stop, "stop it, I'm not worthless..." I whisper back pathetically.
Yes you are...
I'm loosing my sanity, and can't grasp a single thought, and when I do, it drops me. "No, no, no, I'm stronger than this..." I whisper a little louder.
No you're not..
I must be loosing it, now I'm having an argument with myself. I rest my head on the counter, so people who pass by won't see me crying. The voices are right, I am worthless, I am going to be forgotten, so what's the use in trying?
The violent silence is broken by my iPhone vibrating, it's a text, from Tyler.
'Hey, Aria. Sorry I didn't tell you about us going for a few days. I just wanted to say, I miss you :(' I blink twice to make sure I'm still conscious, and to make sure Tyler did just text that. He misses me, is he just saying that, or does he miss me?
'Don't worry about it, it wasn't really my business anyway. I miss you too! :( ;)' I reply, my hands shaking. Then I remember, my mother's funeral.
'This is a big question, but would you like to come to my mother's funeral? It would help if I had someone to comfort me.' I type slowly, asking myself whether or not I should ask him, but I send it anyway.
A few minutes later Tyler replies,
'Ok, if you need me I'll be there, always. ;)' I sigh with relief, and a still joy because him being there will make all the difference.
'Thank you x' I reply, automatically putting a kiss at the end, as I always do. I gulp, I shouldn't of done that....