I love you, so I forgive you.

ILYsoIFY 2

Today it's Christmas! I wake up very happy. I bought something for my dad, it's an electric helicopter. I hope he likes it and goes outside more often to play with his helicopter. It sounds childish, but I think it will do him good to have some sunlight on his face. I can't wait to give it to him!

I walk downstairs. Its just 8 AM so my dad's not awake yet. I decide to make us some breakfast. I bake two eggs with bacon, make some fresh orange juice, pick some nice Italian breads from the kitchen and put it on the table.

We bought a tiny Christmas tree. Or actually I did, because my dad didn't want to come with me. I turn on the radio. They're playing the best Christmas songs today so I am very happy with the music and the snow outside. I am going to read a book next to the fireplace. Dear John from Nicholas Sparks. I love that book! Read it like 7 times already.

I don't know for how long I've already been reading here downstairs, but the eggs are cold and the juice is not so fresh anymore.. I look at the display of my phone. It's 10 AM and my dad is still not downstairs. I decide to wake him up. I'm walking upstairs to his room.

"Dad, wake up, I made us some breakfast." I say, smiling. "Dad?" he doesn't move. I put my hand on his chest. Then he's suddenly moving, shocking and screaming. I panic and grab my phone. Shit!

I have to call an ambulance! Just as I am about to type 911, my eyes land on some white powder on his desk. Shit! Coke!! My dad did drugs!!! I call 911. "Hello, this 911. Do you need an ambulance, police or the fireman?"

"Ambulance!!" I scream. I am totally freaking out. Dad can't die!! Then I will be an orphan! I love him, he needs to stay with me, to see me graduating, to walk me to the isle one day, to see me having kids and be an awesome granddad!

He can't leave me, that's not fair! He has to live! "Where does the ambulance need to go and what is the cause?" the lady on the phone asks. "Ehm, 116th Kingsford Avenue. My dad did drugs!" I scream. "Please hurry! If he dies I will be an orphan!"

"Oh honey, stay calm okay? They're on their way right now, they will be there in a minute. Stay calm, that's important for the condition of your dad. Try to make contact with him, okay?"

"Okay.." I say, desperately trying to stay calm. "Dad, can you hear me??" I ask my dad while putting my hand on his shoulder. My other hand is still holding the phone. "He doesn't talk back!" I say to the lady. "Honey, stay calm, they can arrive any minute now."

That minute seems to be ages! And then finally the ambulance arrives.

I run downstairs as fast as I can and see 3 men standing outside. "Quickly! He's upstairs!!" I scream and immediately run upstairs again. The ambulance men follow me and go to my dad. All I see is men rushing, blue flashing lights, and a lot of shouting.

At the hospital I have to wait while the doctors are taking care of my dad. At least he was alive when the ambulance reached the hospital. I hope he stays alive. Don't give up, dad. Don't give up. Not now. Not later. Never. Stay with me.

I called my best friend Jazmin and she will come to me soon. I'm so happy with a close friend. A soulmate. She's like a sister to me. We can share everything together. She has 2 younger brothers and 2 older brothers, so she can discuss girl things with me.

Not that we both are very girly.. We are both more like 'one of the guys'. We hang out with guys instead of girls, and not because we have a crush on them or anything. Guys are just chill and cool. Not that hysterical and busy with looks all the time as (most of the) girls. Anyways, I love Jazmin.

"Heyyy darling." says Jazmin when she comes towards me. I can see she's almost as worried as I am. She sits next to me and pulls me in a big hug. "How are you? And how's your father doing??"

"I'm freaking out and I don't know how he's doing. He was alive a few minutes ago so I guess that's a good sign." I tell her.

"Oh, Riles, it's not fair, huh?" Jazmin strokes my head. "All the shit anyone can think of happens to you.. But listen, I need you to know that I'm here for you, you know that right? I'm here to support you when you need it, to keep you going when you're feeling down, to make you smile when you're sad and to leave you alone for a minute if you want to be." she kisses my cheek.

Then my forehead. She touched my soul with this boosting words. She's the sweetest! I am so worried about my dad! "I know, Jaz, I love you, thanks." I say. I grab her hand and squeeze it.

She smiles. We both smile. And for just a second I've forgotten all the trouble I'm going through. The power of a best friend.