Mackenzie's Story

Chapter 4

Mackenzie's POV
I woke up the next morning on my floor
I didn't remember what had happened the night before until I hit my wrist on my dresser corner and saw the cuts.
Everything came flowing back into my mind what my mom had said.. what Greg had did it all came rushing back.
"Kenzie! What is Greg talking about that you screamed cuss words at him and hit him?!" mom came yelling in my room
" I don't know.." I said dryly I knew he was doing this so that if I told mom would just think I was trying to get pay back at him for telling on me even there was nothing to tell beside that he had raped me.
At that very moment she slapped me "listen to me Mackenzie your not going to sit here and act like you don't know what I'm talking about just because your upset doesn't mean you can take it out in you father!" mom screamed.
I held back my tear I didn't want her to think she was breaking me I was stronger then that at least I had to keep telling the my self that.
"HES NOT MY DAD!" I started crying "DAD WOULD NEVER HURT ME LIKE GREG DID! I HATE HIM HES NO ONE TO ME!!"
"What are you talking about! Greg has never hurt you. your father is the one who hurt us!" mom said
"No your just blinded! by whatever you see in that man" I screamed
" That man signs the checks so that you can dance!" she yelled
I mumbled " I don't even want to dance"
But of course she had to compare me to Madison ( when I'm upset with Maddie or tired of her I call her Madison because it annoys her sometimes because she likes to be called Maddie or Mads)
" Why can't you be like your sister Mack? she gets all A's and is the star at the studio. I want you to be amazing I want perfection Mackenzie why can't you give me that?!!" mom said
" Maybe because I'm Mackenzie bit Madison!! You probably wouldn't even notice if I went missing except when you wanna come up here and tell me I should be like her! you don't even want me do you? I'm so fucking tired of everyone wanting me to be like my sister my perfect sister Maddie!! in not her so get over it bitch!" I don't know what had came over me I had just called my mother a bitch
Mom told me to get ready for dance and that's what I did I put on my ALDC jacket and black shorts. I grabbed my dance bag and sat in the car I waited almost an hour in the car before Maddie came out
" So uh I heard you and mom yelling you shouldn't have been so mean Kenz she's really upset" Maddie said
I didn't say anything I just sat there looking out the window to see the Mckinlt sisters Sammy and Kyla playing together. they reminded me of me and Mads when we were younger when it was a competition between us just fun.
she kept talking though even though I wasn't responding she knew I was listening
" I'm sorry that you think no one would miss you...i would miss you a lot your my sister and I would do anything for you." Maddie's voice started to crack
"Your the best sister I've ever had considering your also my only sister but no matter what happens your always there for me and I feel bad that I made you feel like I wasn't there for you whenever someone tells you to be like me.. don't change who you are because I love Mackenzie just the way she is" Maddie said
I wanted to cry and for her to hold me but I needed to be strong.
About 10 minutes later mom came out with red puffy eyes I honestly didn't care that she cried about what I had said to her.. she has made me cry so many times she's made me think suicide was an option.. maybe it is I don't know
Once we got to the studio everyone was already there.
Abby called me into the other studio because she wanted to talk
About halfway through our talk age started insulting me in a way
' Chubby' ' be like Maddie' ' your not perfect fix that!' ' stupid'
I was so tired of it I ran out and went into the bathroom I searched for anything sharp .
I saw a small mirror and broke it I took a shard of glass and cut
It felt so good it loved it
Then Dawn and Kaylnn came in.
" Ok so did you hear about what happened at the competition?" Kaylnn said " no what happened?!" Dawn asked
"Mackenzie fell on her fat ass face" Kaylnn and Dawn started laughing
" She really needs to lose weight she looks like an elephant I hate seeing her in a crop and her thighs are huge also" Kaylnn said
I sniffles they must've realized it was me because they started saying more mean things and then the stall door opened
My arm was bleeding and my cuts were visible
They immediately started laughing and then the last thing they said to me stuck with me till the bitter end
" You deserve pain your a worthless peice of shit. Mackenzie Ziegler please kill yourself lol everyone would be so much happier if you were dead just kill yourself" Kill Yourself. They walked out laughing
They were right I did deserve it..

I'm not sure if I'm continuing it's bringing memories back and triggers
Ugh.
I'm 7/8 months clean from cutting!
I'm proud of myself
So comment and vote!!