A Not So Villainous Girl [UNDER REVISION - HIATUS]

Chapter 21: Words To Tell When You're Unsure

"It doesn't look too bad."

"Please just be honest, I really don't mind."

"Alright. It looks unnatural on your skin. You almost look inhuman to me."

"Th-thanks...Gloria."

Gloria smiled, satisfied with her words as she continued to drink her cup of tea after she commented on the faint marks on my skin. Currently, Gloria and I were sitting outside the academy walls in the garden. For the past few days after the pre-ceremony event, it brought the whole student population at school the attention that the result of the Saintess was me.

Some commented that I must have sabotaged the result, some says that because I had amnesia and cursed to bear the weights of the dark future, some says that I manipulated the ceremonial magic because how come a brat noble like me became the kingdom's official Saintess. The rumors were silly as they kept adding new ones behind my back but surprisingly since talks were merely talks, these talkative students didn't dare to meet me in the eyes to confirm their deductions towards me.

Since everybody believed that the Saintess must have been Angelina instead and due to my bratty past, I understand where the talks were coming from. As for Angelina, she was the picture perfect person for the Saintess so honestly it was rather shocking for the student population. Since nobody cared to ask me personally for what exactly happened, the rumors kept spreading like wildfire.

I almost start to believe some of their words were true though Chris and, surprisingly, Gloria told me not to mind about such idiotic rumors. The Saintess position was not for fame but duty to carry out the burden of the kingdom in order to face off the dark magic slowly rising from someplace away.

However, in realty the talks did bother me a lot. With the duty I must carry and having people who doesn't believe in me and what I must do - it hurts my feeling internally that it slowly carved this wretched hole of anxiety and self-pity that I can't help but slowly filled within my centre. Though I try to maintain strong despite what I fear inside my mind, with the support of my family and close friends brought me the balance of comfort to carry on.

"So what was it like then? Knowing that you have the power within you to help us all in the future?" Gloria asks.

The weather was warm enough to keep my company and I comfortable to sit outside on the benches. Since not many students were around us in the garden as well, I was brave enough to speak out my honest feelings towards Gloria.

"It's...heavy." I replied, hands barely keeping still as I play with the fabric of my uniform. "Rather than pride...I feel anxious knowing the future that comes for us."

Gloria nodded, frowning to her tea. "Never in my life I would come to live through the Dawn Era. Stories like that used to scare me when I was younger if I ever misbehave. But now...it's all real."

"It's...real." I managed to reply albeit softly. The memories of the visions from the previous pre-ceremony flashes inside my mind. The destruction by the black dragon. The unclean air, the smell of death, and the horrifying screams of men and women. No matter how much I wished to unsee them, it would always haunts me in the back of my head if I ever forget what my position serves for.

Gloria looked up, her expression seems to waver. "What about...lady De Rose?"

"Ah..." I pondered, "That...I don't actually know how to speak to her until this time."

Gloria furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "Why not? You think she is upset that you were chosen instead of her?"

I shook my head. "No, that's not it. I just - feel..." I trailed, finding myself twiddling with the edge of my silver hair now. "I feel horrible. She was hurt last time and...I believed that she is fit for the Saintess role instead of me so I - I couldn't face her because of this."