He Fell For The Nerd

Chapter 17

"When one has once fully entered the realm of love, the world - no matter how imperfect - becomes rich and beautiful, it consists solely of opportunities for love."

- Soren Kierkegaard

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I move in front of the front door and turn my key in, not wanting to disturb anyone let alone catch attention from someone unwanted. I peer into the house closing the door behind me as quietly as I can, but nonetheless, it makes a click sound, I wince.

I hear footsteps in the quiet house, towards me. Why is it so quiet in here besides the footsteps?

I walk in further, feeling like an intruder in my own house. The footsteps grow louder and I brace myself, I can't avoid it forever, I know I can't. My heart starts wishing with all its strength that we were at Adrian's penthouse instead, the thought comes to my mind and barrels it further, why do I want to be at Adrian's? Because of little Tyler of course, a smile stretches across my face at the thought of the little boy as I hear a voice speaking calmly, gently.

"Camilla, what are you doing standing and smiling in the middle of the hall?"

I'm relieved by that sweet melody of a sound, its Jules, my shoulders relax.

I look up and see her giving me a playful expression but her eyes tell a different story.

"He's here, isn't he?" my voice comes out barely above a whisper, dreading the answer I already know.

She nods pitifully and says, "He's on a phone call right now."

I go and hug her tightly, I don't want to let go but I see him descending the stairs and I know I can't avoid the inevitable, I let go of Jules and step back.

He stops in front of me and I breathe out the word,"Dad."

"You wear glasses? I thought you had started wearing lenses." He states rather than asks, scrutinising me with his shrewd eyes.

I shrug.

He just looks at me as if accessing me, of course, when you don't see your daughter for several months you forget that she almost always wears glasses unless she absolutely doesn't require to do so. I clench my fists, what did I expect? Nothing, I don't get sad anymore, just angry, and angry I was.

I look him in the eye with much difficulty and say, "I think I'm gonna go to my room."

He shrugs, showing he doesn't care and I move around him to head up the stairs, I think I hear him saying, "Where were you coming from?" but my ears are filled with something else, something that doesn't let his words register in my mind, I hear those words as if he was speaking from afar, as an echo. There's a static noise, I can't stop it, I run to my room and push the door closed.

I stumble a little but I manage to fall on my bed.

Its been 4 hours, I think in my mind as I look at the clock. I had cried as the static noise in my head had grown louder and louder, I could even see the TV dots in my head and time just seemed to float after that.

Its 3 am, I tell myself, will it be okay to go get some food now from the refrigerator? Will anyone see me? That anyone being my father.

Wait, as a thought appears in my mind, where the fuck is Lewis? I march out of my room, no, I tiptoe out my room into Lewis' and see him there, sleeping soundly. I've always envied that about him. He is out like a daylight as soon as he hits the bed, lucky boy.