Star Wars: A Lost Trooper

C23

I think back to that day. It's now my last day on leave, and then the real fun begins. The operation. I've always wanted to be part of an operation like this. I make my way to the mess hall, and I get my last hot meal. I look around to find the guys, and I can't find them. I look to another table, and I see them. All playing a good old game of blackjack. I grab my food, and I make my way over to them. I sit down next to Chuck, and they look at me.
Me: Hey guys, wanna deal me in?
They look at me and then noticed that I had already placed some credits in the pile that was already there. I see Red give me a card, and then another. I get an Ace of Spades and an 8 of Hearts.
Red: Hit or stand guys?
Me: Stand
Hacksaw: Hit
It goes like that, every once an a while I hear stand. Eventually I don't hear anything but the laying down of cards. I lose by one digit. I look to my plate and grab a piece of toast. I take a bite out of the food, and it is amazing. I'm used to the stale, cold, and hard feeling of bread, but this. This is better. It's soft, rich, and sweet. I know already that it doesn't have sugar though. I take one bite after the other, and I savor it. The rest of lunch is quite. I reach for my fork and knife. I plunge the fork into the center of the steak, and I cut it into smaller pieces. I take a bite out of the warm meat, and once again it is amazing. Don't get me wrong, the C-Rations taste amazing depending on what you're eating, but it's always good on ship. I do hate spam though. That meat is just horrible uncooked. It has way too much salt to be healthy anyways. I take bite after bite after bite. The food is so good! I look to the fluids in my cup. I wash my food down. I get up and walk to the trashcan. I hear it, and just like that my scraps are in the bin. I put my plate back in the dirty dishes. I hear the commotion of the guys at the table I leave. I just don't feel the same anymore. I feel different. I don't want to talk that much anymore. Something changed, and I don't like it. Not one bit. I just do whatever now. The combat is killing me, mentally. The voices of those that have died echo in my mind, and it's unbearable. I can't stand it. I can't do anything about it. I hear footsteps. I look behind us to see Flash.
Flash: Hey
I just nod to him. I see him walk up beside me.
Flash: Are you ok? You're awfully quiet.
Me: I don't know what's wrong with me Flash. The fighting, the orders, the bodies it's going to kill me. I hear their voices every morning. I want it to stop
Flash: That medic wasn't the only death?
Me: His name is D, and no he wasn't. A living legend died because I wasn't fast enough. His name was Lieutenant Devil
Flash: I thought that he was a myth
Me: I did too, but he saved me. He died when he protected me from a grenade.
Flash: I don't know, it sounds like attention to me
Me: Look at my damn records!
I snap. I notice what I've done, and I instantly regret it.
Me: I-I'm sorry
Flash: It's ok, I understand.
Me: I've seen Devil, Bolt, Crackshot, and now D
Flash: I-I'm so sorry. It has to be tough.
Me: It is
Flash: Well I need to go
Me: I'll talk to you later
Flash: Yeah
With that he leaves. I look out the window to the ground below. I can't imagine how many people have died simply because of some land. I heard that Operation Spearhead is being postponed and set for a later date. Some Commandos got some intel about the enemy gaining reinforcements. We'll ambush the convoy, and eliminate the hostiles. The tactic is remaining the same. We are just doing it at a later date, and moving further up the road to secure it. I look at all the land that we have to take. Vietnam looks tiny compared to other countries. I also heard that the 212th is being pulled out of Earth we are apparently being deployed on some planet called Umbara. I leave from my thinking spot, and I go to my bunk. I get in and I just think of how much better this Umbara place will be. I let the night consume me.