Just A Little Bit Of Your Heart ~ Randy

40: Lost

Rye's P.O.V

The next day

I knew I was at fault. Nobody had to tell me that. So, even though it hurt like hell, I wasn't entirely surprised that Andy would hate me.

He woke up the day after we found him, being closely monitored by doctors and nurses every hour or so. They wanted to make sure he wouldn't, and couldn't, refuse the medical help.

So far, he hadn't said a word to anyone of us, staring blankly at the walls whilst we talked at him. At first, I thought he was ignoring us. Then, the thought of him being mute came to mind. Until... I realised he was ignoring me.

He wouldn't look at me, wouldn't say a word. When Brook came in with Aliana and handed her over to Andy, he looked down at our daughter, the same stone cold expression on her face.

I nodded at Brook asking if he'd leave, so I'd have some time alone with Andy. He had to talk to me at some point.

"Andy."

No answer. Not even a glance up.

"Andy, babe. Please talk to me."

Still met with the same silence. I sat on the chair and took his hand tightly, so he couldn't flinch away. His hand was limp in mine, obviously uncaring and unbothered. When I picked Aliana up, he freaked.

"Get your hands off my daughter!" He yelled, reaching out to take her back. I stepped backwards, baffled.

"She is my daughter too, goddamnit! Andy, I know I've fucked up massively, and no amount of apologies fixes that, but I'm your husband. Baby, I still love you," I whispered, angry tears falling.

"You haven't shown me that lately, Beaumont. Despite what your judgement is like, it doesn't give you the fucking right to cheat on your husband!"

"Don't you think I know that?" I snapped, cutting him off. Andy physically retreated and sighed, turning away from me.

"Just... go. I don't want you here right now."

***

The cup of coffee I had clutched in my shaking hands, an attempt to warm me in the cold weather, had grown completely cold. Yet, I was glued to the seat, staring into space. The boys trying to make conversation with me, but failing. What purpose did I even have when my husband hated me to the core? Voices of other people in the café with us made my head thump painfully, and the cup fell from my grasp as I slapped a hand over my mouth, biting down until the pain was excruciating, to force my tears to stay in the ducts.

"Rye, come on. Let's go and say goodnight to Andy. Then we'll be back in the morning for when they discharge him," Brook said quietly, placing a hand over mine. I nodded, and followed behind, standing in the doorway as the others went in.

"Andy," I heard my brother say softly, my husband humming in reply. "You want us to take Aliana back home? You should rest here, bub."

"Uh... yeah. Okay," he muttered, freezing when I entered the room without a word. I couldn't lie, and say it didn't crush me when I was met with an expressionless, yet beautiful face. The blue shimmering with the pained tears I knew I'd caused; but I just wanted the chance to redeem myself.

How many more times do you want him to forgive you? The poor boy can only handle so much until it's all over, you know.

"I love you, baby boy. I'll see you tomorrow," I whispered, knowing if I spoke any longer I'd be reduced to tears once again. And, I had no clue if I'd stop.

"Save it for the pity party nobody's giving you," he snarled, looking away again. "You're just pushing me further to the edge, like you enjoy testing my breaking point, Ryan. How do we go back from that? How do I, once again, tell you it's okay and I love you? There's a time where it's one too many, and right now... I'm considering whether this is it." His voice shook, and he dropped his face in his hands, his silent weeps racking his body. Jack kissed his forehead and nodded at me, somehow able to pull me away.

Andy's P.O.V

As soon as I was sure they'd left, the tears fell. And didn't stop. I cried for literal hours, so tired and fed up and just overwhelmed. Why was this happening to me? Was I that shitty a person that the universe loved to see me suffer? Clearly, I was; otherwise, Rye wouldn't have a reason for hating me. But he did, and I didn't blame him. He couldn't care less about me, and I had to deal with that. We obviously weren't meant to be together in the first place.

Every time I had managed to make the tears slow down, the faintest thought of my husband, and our (now most likely) destroyed relationship reduced me to loud sobs, throat sore from the countless other times. I just wanted to rip the tubes and everything away, just walk away so nobody would find me. I mean, that was all that I was good for now.

My phone started ringing suddenly, and I saw it was Dad, wanting to FaceTime. He didn't normally want to use FaceTime, so I didn't hesitate in picking up, forcing the tears down.

He had been crying. For a long time. But the smile he'd forced, just for me, made me a little better inside.

"Hi, Dad," I waved, forcing the same smile, though I had no strength to.

"Hey, Andy. How're you holding up, son?"

"Uh, okay, I guess. Holding on. How have things been at home?"

He was silent, not meeting my eye. "You know, tense..."

"Do you want to forgive Mum?" I asked straight out, unsure of what his answer would actually be. She'd hurt him immensely; he'd never ever cried like this.

"Of course I do. I just... I never expected her to have done that to me. I thought she loved me, you know? And, she's supposed to stay loyal to me, as my wife and as queen of my country," he replied, and I knew full well he was right.

"And she does love you. D-did she tell you who he is?" I asked. He shook his head, enough to break me even more. "Promise me you won't be mad. Please, Dad. Find it in your heart to forgive her. I'm trying to work on that, too. But you have to make the effort. I don't want our family to break apart. I'm sure Mum regrets it; she told me herself she'd made a stupid mistake, and she'd have done anything to make things right."

"Who is he, son?"

"Harry. Harry Duff. Jack's father-"

"Does the lad know?" He asked, referring to Jack. I shook my head, not sure how I'd even break it to my best friend. This was his dad; I was his half brother. He had just the same right to know as everyone else who was involved. "I think you should tell him. Otherwise, not saying anything will make things worse. It'll lead to another situation like this. But, tell him what you've told me."

I nodded. "Thanks, Dad. But, promise me you'll speak to Mum?"

"I promise, Andy. Wait... are you in a hospital?" He realised, eyes widening. I nodded.

"It's a long story," I replied quietly.

"I've got all night."

And so I told him. And the tears fell again, from both my Dad and I. I could barely talk by the time I was finished, deciding it was too much of a struggle trying to keep the emotions down until I was alone.

"Son, you know what I'm going to say." I nodded, sighing heavily. "Don't be too hard on Ryan. I'm sure he knows that he made a mistake and he wants you to forgive him. You guys have the best relationship; you have a daughter, my beautiful granddaughter. Don't let it all go to waste, okay?"

"He just hurt me so so much. I don't know if I can fight anymore. How many more times am I expected to forgive him? Yeah, I know I'm at fault too, but what he did... that was a step too far. I don't know if we can go back from that."

We talked for a little longer until it was time for lights out in the ward, and I asked Dad one last time to talk to Mum.

"Only if you promise to talk to Rye," he said, but I didn't answer.

"Love you. Bye, Dad."

"Bye, son."