the blue and the solace

red and black.

I could punch a hole
into this wall
if I wanted to
and watch my
hand bruise itself
red and black
with my veins
turning conspicuous
and me bruising them
over and over.
I could rip apart
all my clothes
especially the ones
that reek of me,
I wouldn't want to linger
on anyone
or anything.
I'm watching myself
suffuse into insanity,
one trigger
and I'll coil away.