Secrets :: Larry

-1-

Louis

I had my shirt off, looking at myself disgustedly. My bottom lip quivered as I saw my scars. I looked down, ashamed at myself. Puke it out! You're too fat for anything. No one's going to want a guy like you. I looked down, squeezing my stomach. A tear slipped from my eyes and rolled down my cheek, falling at my jaw.

"I am hideous." I mumbled and walked to the bathroom. I sat down in front of the toilet and started crying. Do it! I took my two fingers and stuck them down my throat, making myself gag. I started throwing up and began to cry harder. Some of it was stuck to my fingers, since I couldn't move my hand fast enough. When I couldn't throw up anymore, I sat there and cried.

Cut your arms! It'll help! Your pathetic!

I kept crying and stood up. I walked to my closet and grabbed my oldest pair of shoes. I stuck my hand in it and grabbed my razor. Once the moonlight hit it, it began to shine in the dark and a small smile formed on my lips. I was happy that I knew this would distract me from the pain in the world but I was disappointed in myself.

You deserve the cuts!

My mind keeps pushing thoughts in my head and I put the razor close to my skin. I cut a long line, going across my arm. Blood started dotting up and running down my arm.

Again! Again! Again!

My mind kept demanding. Again, I put the razor to my skin and cut it. I winced and started crying as I cut a bit deeper than my last. I did it again and again and again, until my arm was covered in blood. I cried hard, putting my razor up and looking at my arm in regret and disgust.

"What h-have I d-done?" I whispered and walked to the bathroom. I took my clothes off except my boxers and cleaned the blood off my cuts. I winced as the fabric came in contact with my scratches. I walked to my bed and laid down. I looked at the moon, holding onto my arm. I cried until I fell into a deep sleep.

I woke up to the sun shining in my eyes. I squinted my eyes and sat up. I looked down at my arm and noticed some dry blood on my chest. I bit my bottom lip as a tears escaped my eyes. I kept in a silent sob and stood up, walking to the bathroom. I opened a cabinet and grabbed some band aids. I turned on the water, grabbed a wash cloth and got it wet. I winced as I cleaned the blood. I grabbed some band aids and placed them over my cuts.

Once I finished, I walked to my dresser and grabbed some clothes. I changed and put on some socks and shoes. Can't wait for tonight. My mind said and a few more tears streamed down my face. I wiped my eyes quickly and grabbed a jacket. I slipped it on and went to the bathroom. I waited until my face wasn't as red before I walked downstairs.

"Mom! I'm leaving early today!" I yelled.

"Okay! Bye, love you!"

"Bye!" I yelled and walked outside. School. I thought to myself. I frowned slightly knowing what would happen most likely.