Saving Snow // The Wolf Among Us (SnowXBigby)

Part 9: You Fucked Up

Colin was immediately asphyxiated by the strong scent of booze and cigarettes as he crashed into Bigby's apartment once again. He saw Bigby lying in an odd position on his chair, groaning with his mouth hanging open.

"Jesus, man," Colin exclaimed, coughing because of all the smoke. "The fuck happened to you?"

Bigby opened his eyes and gazed at the pig, but all he saw was a huge leg of pork. "Mhmhm... Bacon ..." He drooled, chopping up Colin and frying him in his mind. Colin took a weary step back.

"Whoa man! Take it easy. It's your best pal come to check on you, not your dinner!"

"I fucking love bacon," Bigby sighed.

Colin shook his head.

"You look like shit," he commented.

"When are you going to stop *HEUP* insulting my looks?" Bigby grunted.

Colin scoffed. "What looks?"

"All the ladies love me," Bigby slurred.

"Man, your ego is fucking huge when you're drunk," Colin smirked. "Obviously something's happened to get you into this mess."

"Shut - up - bacon," Bigby hiccuped, trying to heave himself off the sofa but he ended up tumbling onto the floor. "Whoopsies!" he laughed, rolling around on the carpet like a demented dog.

Colin watched him for a while, snorting with laughter. "I came at the right time!"

He looked around at all the empty whiskey bottles, broken shards of glass and ash on the floor. Then he noticed something else. As he trotted over, a wide grin appeared on his vastly wrinkled face.

"Bigby?" he called smugly. "Would you like to tell me what happened?"

"Hghgh?" Bigby said in a muffled tone. There was a constant pounding in his head that made him reel. Fuck, I feel like shit. Trudging dizzily as if wading through mud, he went to see what Colin was investigating.

He was sniffing a pair of pink lace panties left crumpled in a little ball. "I definitely came at the right time," he said, smirking at Bigby's dumbfounded face. "I know that these aren't mine. You're not the kind of guy that would wear them either, though maybe you could pull them off. Wanna spill the beans, Biggs?"

Bigby remained silent; he was just thinking how weird it was the fact that Nerissa left without even putting her fucking underwear on.

"Who was it?" taunted Colin. "Snow White? Nah. Doesn't look the pink lace type to me. Ah! No fucking way. No you didn't, Bigby. It wasn't the broad from the pudding and pie?"

"Shut up!" Bigby roared, slamming his fist into the wall. The plaster crumbled beneath his fists. He was furious that Colin had sussed it out within seconds. Was the pig psychic or something? This was unmistakably the biggest mistake he had ever made and if Snow ever found out, he wouldn't be able to face her again.

Dammit! Bigby thought. She doesn't care about me, so why does it feel like I've fucking cheated on her?

"Well," Colin said thoughtfully. "It's not such a bad thing. I'd pick her over Snow any day; that woman looks the sort that will order you around and nag you no end. Never any peace. You made a pretty good choice if you ask me." He still couldn't help sniggering even though he did his best to look sincere.

"I didn't want to, okay?" Bigby snarled. "She ... She fucking ... I don't know what she did, but she poisoned me or ... or something that turned me into some ... Some motherfucking horny dog!"

But you kissed her back the first time, an infuriating voice reminded Bigby in his head. He gritted his teeth and ignored it.

Colin couldn't stop laughing and Bigby quelled him with a dark, dangerous glare.

"I have my frying pan on my stove," he warned.

Colin instantly shut up.

"Okay, I'll stop," he said. "Well, dog, this is your problem. All you'd better hope for is that Nerissa doesn't go around spreading the word."

"She wouldn't," Bigby said - but his chest tightened. Fuck fuck fuckity fuck.

"And if Snow finds out, just tell her the truth," Colin said. "You're not even dating so what's the problem?"

Bigby chuckled grimly. "And what will that be like, hey? "Snow I know this sounds weird and I'm sorry but Nerissa poisoned me and forced me into fucking her." Yeah that sounds ridiculously unbelievable. Good job, Bacon." He burped noisily and lit a cigarette.

"There's no need to be a dick," Colin snapped. "If she really cared she would believe you."

"Well she doesn't care." Bigby took a drag.

Colin grunted and collapsed on his side. "You sure about that?"

Bigby just ignored him and took another drag, but Colin's words were eating at him.

"She was really worried when they bought you back to the apartment after Mary shot you," Colin muttered. "I never even knew she could even show such an emotion. She was almost in tears. Over you!"

Bigby huffed incredulously.

"Then you get shot again and she totally loses it," Colin went on.

"Shut up or I'll fry you," Bigby threatened moodily.

Colin just rolled his eyes. "Fine. Go ahead. Do your stuff and fry me. But just remember what I said."

Bigby suddenly yawned and blinked at Colin drowsily. "Huh? Who are you? Remember what?"

"Oh for Christ's sake," Colin grumbled, getting up and trotting towards the door. "Good night, Bigby."