Nightmare

Heart Made of Glass, My Mind of Stone

Shit. No, I'm not Mavi.

All evidence supports the fact that you are indeed the one they call Mavi Stark.

What evidence, dumbass?

I will pluck out your eyes. The evidence is that you once said your name was Mavi--

And I told you that one was a lie.

Do not interrupt me. As I was saying, did you not remember I am the god of lies? I sensed the lie before you even thought it.

First of all, how the fuck does that even work--

You asked for your evidence, and thus I gave you evidence. Now leave me be.

You're the one in my head.

Silence in my head, and the song in the car stops. I know which one is next. The one that I sang, and wrote with a friend.

"Next up: we have 'Lovely', this one both written by and sung by Mavi Stark."

"No," Clint says.

"What?" Brand asks.

"Have you ever heard this song?" Rowan asks her.

She shakes her head and he gasps.

"It's one of the best, but it's much too sad for anyone to handle," Rowan informs her. Thanks!

"I think it's okay," I add. "I mean, there are better songs."

It's true, my music sucks. I have no idea why everyone likes such depressing shit.

I wrote it before I came to this world, to vent. Then I made it into an actual song because I wanted to be a singer when I grew up and couldn't where I used to live.

Now I realize it's shitty and I shouldn't have made it into a real song.

Because it's sad. I was incredibly sad before. Now, I'm okay.

I made that song because I was sad. And it just makes some people sadder. That's horrible shit I shouldn't have done. No one deserves to be sad.

Yes, some people might enjoy it, but others might understand the lyrics and realize something about their lives that makes them not want to live anymore. I know because I felt that way after these lyrics came to me and I wrote them down.

Back when I was like ten, I didn't want any fame or anything. I liked privacy just fine.

But as I slowly started to realize barely anyone I knew actually liked me, I felt alone. I wanted others to like me so I wouldn't feel less lonely. Selfish, I know.

So I made a YouTube video. This very song. And it became really popular. And then I realized that being famous only changed a little. I was still sad inside, and fame was not what changed that.

It was my family and friends. Not the old ones, obviously, but Dad and Pepper and Livvy, and now Rowan and Cassian.

But I still found a way to use the music that I enjoyed making.