Nightmare

When You Meet A Snekky Boi

Warning: if you have any braincells left and you value them, read with caution, because this chapter may demolish braincells

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"So, the English assignment where we had to pretend we got grounded for something we did with our friends. What were your three reasons for getting in trouble?" I ask Livvy.

"I got drunk on shampoo, went drunk-on-shampoo underage driving with my friends, ripped the steering wheel off my mom's car on accident, and did the Tide Pod challenge."

"Livvy. You do realize we were supposed to make something up, not put something that actually happened?"

"This coming from the girl who said she ate all the little kids at a random person's family gathering. Would you like to explain how that did not actually happen?" Livvy questions.

I had called Dad earlier and asked if I could stay over to finish the project, and he said okay, so now it's 2AM, we're done with the stupid project, and we're talking about this. Thank god I lost all my braincells before I got here, or else I would have three whole braincells to lose right now instead of having nothing left.

"I did not eat all the little kids at a family gathering!" I exclaim hotly, multiplying my disappearing British accent by ten. Oh yeah. I forgot to mention that. Before my adoptive parents got all "HULK DESTROY DAUGHTER'S MENTAL AND PHYSICAL HEALTH" and stuff, when they didn't know about me having no soulmate back then or having powers, I lived in Britain until I was like twelve. So I have the accent, but it's slowly leaving because I'm in America now.

And I did not eat all the little kids at a family gathering. Ever. Please keep that in mind as you proceed with the story.

No, seriously. I didn't do it. That was someone else with a similar name, kapeesh? Kapeesh.

"Yours is funnier than mine." I can hear the frown in her voice, trying to figure out how to make her essay funnier.

"Okay, uhhhh... You accidentally on purpose, ran over your neighbor's cat because you thought he was gonna call the cops on you because he saw you dunking a donut in your coffee at Starbucks."

"This is why people think we're high." Livvy snorts.

"So what is your point? You ask me to help you, I help you," I sigh, burying my face into the pillow she gives me. "Are your pillows usually this warm?" I flip it over, and the cool touches my face before receding back into desert heat.

"No, they're only that hot whenever I'm having a sleepover at someone's house or they're sleeping over at mine."

"I know right! I thought I was the only one!"

"Wanna act high?" she asks. "And make funny jokes that make no sense?"

"A water bottle is just enslaved moisture." I mutter. "A treadmill is just enslaved road. We are enslaved innocents, forced to do tons of paperwork that even kings and queens did not have to do."

"Studying is just an abbreviation of 'students dying.' "

I snort.

"Mavi. Help me."

"What?" I roll over.

"I want to make one of those creative, funny, meme-inspiring Tumblr posts but nothing ever happens in my life."