Nightmare

New York, 2012

Hey, guys, I made a few changes to the chapter 'Promises to the Gone' and I think I made it a little better. Please go check it out and please answer the question at the bottom! Thanks!

Also I have a major problem.

I shipped Mavi and Rowan A LOT.

ME LIKE SWAGHETTI, ME REGRETTI

WHAT DO I DO?

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I look up from my thoughts and grief. I'm sitting in the room after Fury and Hill have gone, the silence a companion that I neither dislike nor want.

But I hear a throat clearing from the doorway.

It's Clint. He nods to the hallway.

I stand up and walk toward him slowly, each of my movements jerky like a robot's.

"What?" I almost whimper raggedly.

CAN'T IT STOP? THIS PAIN?

I just want him back... Is that too much to ask?

"We are going to Stark Tower. Wanna fight some aliens?" Romanoff asks, trying unsuccessfully to lighten my mood.

But I nod nonetheless.

If I'm going to leave tonight, I can at least help the world a little before I go.

So I step nimbly onto the Quinjet and sit down at the very back.

I bury my face in my hands, readying myself for whatever the future holds. Even though I know will never be ready.

Each step I take, each breath I take reminds me of Rowan.

Before I know it, we've landed.

I fidget with the ring. Fireheart.

He said 'always and forever.'

What happened to that promise?

I gulp, readying myself for the battle.

I see Dad fly up to the tower. I teleport up there, landing on near the edge of the balcony--so close I could fall but stepping an inch backwards.

I see Dad talking to Loki, offering him a drink as I walk in.

"No drink? You sure? I'm having one," he says, holding up a bottle.

"I don't see how stalling is going to help you," Loki says. Then they both see me.

"Actually, I'm planning to threaten you," he turns back to Loki, getting his say in and then holding out the bottle and a glass to me.

I've never drunk before. I need to see if it works. They don't know how old I am.

I need to forget. And I feel guilty for it--I should be remembering Rowan and keeping his memory alive, not trying to forget.