You Let Me Go

32. Sweet Baby Jesus

-Next Day-

I woke up and realized I'm not in Cierra's bed. I sat up and felt the aftermath of last night. I turned and Jake was in the bed next to this one.. I'm in Diego's bed.

Wait what happened last night? The puzzle pieces came back one by one. Cierra and Cassandra both brought home guys. I got drunk and I guess Diego was the one who took care of me? Honestly I don't even remember who took care of me but I'm assuming it was Diego since Im in his bed.

I changed as my stomach growled. I went into the kitchen and all the guys were in there. Besides Jake since he's still knocked out.

They grew quiet.. "Thanks Diego for letting me sleep in your bed."

"You slept with her?! Motherfucker!" Tony and Matt held Theo back before he could reach Diego. "I didn't sleep with her what the fuck? Yeah you fucked up big time, but I would never do that to you."

He turned to me. "No problem. Jake and I helped you up there. He took off your makeup while I took off your shoes." I smiled then turned to Theodore. "First of all, why do you care? It doesn't matter who I sleep or don't sleep with."

"Because I love you. Just the thought of you with someone else tears me."

"We're gonna get out of here..." Nate said awkwardly before stepping out. Everyone but Theo followed him.

"So you think that doesn't apply to me?"

"I'm sorry Lia. I would take it back if I could."

"You'd take a lot of things back if you could." He gulped. "I love you. So much. You've done so much for me babe. We've gone through a lot. Don't let this one thing ruin us."

"This one thing didn't ruin us Theodore. You ruined us. You went and put your dick in me then put it in her of all people."

"Cordelia I'm so sorry-"

"I'm sorry too. Sorry that I thought you would ever change." Everyone was coming in. I turned to walk away but Savannah bumped into me. I don't care if that was accidental or not, but it was the thing that set me off.

For the first time in my life, I fought someone. They had to pry me off of her. "Who's the crazy bitch now?!" I asked as Nate threw me over his shoulder. I didn't even bother trying to get off of him, he's gotten bigger since the last time Ive seen him so I would never win.

He walked up to their room and set me down on him. All I could do was break down when he hugged me.

Why does love have to be so hard?

We stayed like that for a whiiilllee. Basically until I was tired of crying. "You're gonna be okay Lia. I promise."

Ade came up and sat next to us. She put a hand on my knee. "This feels like some weird threesome porn intro." I said and they laughed. "Fucking Lia." Said Nate as he was dying. I laughed and got off of him. "Thanks Nate."

"Where are you going?" Asked Ade. "I need to tell Savannah something.."

"Lia no-" I left anyways. Everyone was in the living room.. silent. Savannah had a towel filled with ice against her cheek. Everyone looked at me as I went to stand in front of her.

"I'm sorry... I really am sorry."

"Why?" She said still with attitude. Sweet baby Jesus, grant me some patience.

"The difference between you and me is that I know my rights from my wrongs. And I can admit when I'm wrong. And I can feel remorse. I should have never laid hands on you. That was not okay. And I'm sorry. I don't know what I did for you to hate me this much, but I'm sorry for that too."

I turned to the others. "Sorry for ruining your spring break."

"It wasn't you ..it was me." Theo said as he stood up. He walked away.

I grabbed a plate of food and went outside to eat it. It was quiet and peaceful.

"Can I talk to you?" I turned to Savannah. "Sure." I said. She came and sat next to me as I set the plate down.

"You didn't do anything for me to hate you.. Its just.. I know girls want Theo. When I was with him, I felt like I had to compete with everyone... but when you showed up.. it wasn't a competition.. Because I knew he would choose you over me any day. And that's why I resented you. We were good. Then you came and all that changed... I'm sorry for hurting you so bad.." She started to cry.

"I know all you did was love him and I had to ruin that. I'm so sorry Lia. I really am.. I know nothing I say will do anything or fix anything but I'm sorry." Tears rolled down my face as well.

"You're not the only one at fault.. he could have refrained from that but he didn't. Thank you." I opened my arms and she hesitated a bit but hugged me. "He clearly still loves you.. He wants nothing to do with me."

"He can love me all he wants. Its not gonna change what he did."

"I'm sorry.."

"Its not okay but I'll get over it eventually. Like I said, it took two to participate. You've made your peace. Thank you."

"I think I hate him too now." I laughed. "The sweetest revenge now is to rub it in his face that you and I are okay." She smiled. "The devil works hard, but I think you work harder." She said and I laughed.

"You know.. if you weren't such a bitch, maybe we could've been good friends." She smiled. "I really hope we can try." I nodded. "I'm still sorry... About your face.." I said as we stood up.

"You have a mean punch not gonna lie." She said and we both laughed as we walked into the house. Everyone just stared at us like we're crazy. I'm pretty sure I see Theo's jaw on the floor.

"I think I'm still drunk from last night. I'm seeing things." Said Cassandra and I laughed. "We had a great conversation. We're okay."

"Girl she fucked your man." Said Ade. "It takes two to tango. Savannah wasn't the one in a committed relationship." I shrugged. "Well okay then." She said.

"I know you don't understand my madness but it makes sense to me.." I said and Ade nodded. "That's true." Said Jake. "So what are we doing today? Its our last day." Said Matt.

"My liver is drowning right now I'm staying back and bumming it all day. We have dinner at a restaurant tonight." I said and they all agreed.

I was sitting on Cierra's bed all alone when the door opened. "I don't want to talk to you Theodore." "Ok just hear me out then."

I rolled my eyes. I can't leave. He's blocking the door. And quite frankly, I don't feel like jumping out a window.

"I'm so sorry Cordelia. I am. I don't know what I was thinking. I know I fucked up and I know you'll probably never forgive me, but I'll never stop trying. I'll give you your space. I can't thank you enough for everything you've done for me. I love you so much. I always will. Know I'm hurting as much as you are. I'll always be there for you when you need me. I love you." He came over to hug me but all I did was cry. "I love you." He whispered as he kissed my head. He turned and walked out.

I don't think anyone is ever prepared for a heart break. How do we cope with this? Its not like I can just shake it off and say whatever. I can pretend to. But it still hurts. I think time is the only thing that can help.