You Let Me Go

20. False Hope

-Tuesday-

He's been quiet the entire car ride to Stacie's office. He seems hesitant. I have already mastered being able to pick him up to set him on the wheelchair.

"I'll be out in the waiting room." I kissed his cheek. He nodded before going into her office. I just hope his mental state improves. He seemed genuinely happy on Sunday.


He came back and his eyes were a bit swollen. He cried. I'm not even gonna question him. "Ready?" I asked and he nodded.

"Thank you.." He finally broke the silence in the car. "For making that appointment. It really did help." I smiled. "I'm glad Theo."

"Now I'm ready for therapy."

They stood him up and he held on to the bars. His legs started to shake. His right foot moved barley a centimeter before it gave up on him. I know he's frustrated but he handled it differently today.

"Im proud of you Theo." Said the physical therapist. "Parts of your limbs are still numb but you put your all in today. It may have seemed like nothing, but that centimeter was huge progress. Most patients legs automatically give up when they're stood up. You stayed standing for a few seconds and even moved your foot a little bit. Don't give up hope. If you really want it, you'll get it." That made me smile and I turned to look at Theo. A smile crept on to his face.

"Are you his main caregiver at home?" I nodded. "Great. I want you to lift each leg at a time when you can. I want the blood to circulate. I'm going to hand you a page with leg motions I want you to do with him. Its nothing strenuous Theodore, but I'm hoping it will help a lot. It's mainly leg lifting and bending. Can you do that?" He asked me. "Of course I can."

"Very well. I'll see you Thursday Theo."

"See you Thursday."

It wasn't until we were outside that I screamed and hugged him. "I'm so proud of you Theo!" He chuckled. He called his mom then Jake in the car. Alice was overjoyed as well as Josiah and Jake.

"Why didn't you tell me you could feel part of you legs?"

"I didn't want to give you false hope."

"What can you feel?"

"My big toe. My heel. My knees. Can't feel my other toes, my shins or my thighs."

As soon as we got to the Beta house, I did those leg movements the therapist told me to. He felt discomfort which I knew he would. As soon as I heard talking I ran over and bragged to the boys. Theo just laughed. "Man I think she's more excited than you are." Joked Jared. I smiled. "I should get going. See you guys later." I hugged all of them and Theo walked me to my car.. or rolled or you get what I mean.

"Hey I won't be able to come Saturday. We have a fundraiser for our charity, but I can come after if you'd like?" He smiled. "Of course I want you to come. The guys are probably gonna go party at the Delta house. A few have dates and the others live on the other side of the house so almost no ones gonna be here."

"Alright, I'll see you Thursday." I kissed his cheek.

-Thursday-

They've tried standing Theo up four times... his legs give up on him by the time they stand him up. I know he's frustrated, I can see it in his face. "Can I get a minute with him?" The PT nodded and stepped out.

"Hey, look at me. Don't stress yourself out. If you can't get it today, its okay." He rolled his eyes. "If you can't stand up within the next few tries, I'm pulling the plug and taking you home. I don't want to see you in this state of mind. I know you can do it, you did it Tuesday. But please don't over work yourself. I know you don't want to talk but please don't be a dick and throw your anger at the PT. I can see you're close to losing your shit. If you wanna swear at someone, swear at me in the car."

That brought a small smile on to his face. "I would never do that to you."

"You ready?" I asked and he nodded. I signaled the PT back in. Twice. Twice it happened the same. "I'm gonna step out and grab you water. I'll be back." He walked out and Theo looked at me. "I can't do it." His voice cracked. "That's completely fine. We can go home if you want. We'll continue the exercises there and come back Tuesday." He nodded.

"I'm really stressed and exhausted. I think I'll just come back Tuesday." The PT looked at Theo then at me. "We'll continue the leg exercises at home."

He nodded. "I don't want you to lose hope Theodore. Its best we don't stress you out now so I'm fine if you want to go. I'll see you Tuesday."

He grabbed my hand in the car. "You calm me... I would've lost my shit if it weren't for you." I smiled.