You Let Me Go

36. Tell Me

-Friday-

I grabbed the tray of cocktails and walked out. "Hey Lia!" "Emily.. Hi!" She and Theo came... he got the night off? "I'll see you around!" I turned and walked through the crowd.

"Hey." I smiled. "Hi Ty." He grabbed the tray and set it down. "Your shift just ended."

"Ty-"

"I spoke to the owner... he said its fine. It helps being his son but still." His dad is the owner? "C'mon." He smiled. "I'm in uniform. Let me change, I have clothes in my locker." He nodded. "Okay I'll wait for you by the bar."

I walked into the back room with our lockers and I heard someone behind me. I turned and Theo was following me. Jesus Christ he scared me.

"Are you guys together?"

"Why do you care Theodore?" I asked trying to unlock my lock. My back is facing him so I can't see him. "Because I do... because I love you."

"You have a girlfriend." He grabbed my waist and turned me around. He gently pushed me up against the wall, since my locker is at the end..

He looked me dead in the eyes before kissing me. I couldn't help but kiss back... until I came to my senses and pushed him away. "Tell me Lia.. Tell me you don't love me anymore and I'll leave you alone. Tell me you don't want me in your life and I'll leave you alone... There's still feelings there. You can't deny it."

I shook my head no. "No what?"

"I can't tell you that I don't love you. I can't tell you that I don't want you in my life because I would be lying to myself."

"Then?!"

"You've hurt me too much Theo. Like you said, if you love something, set it free. That's what we have to do. I don't want you out of my life, but I can't move on if you're constantly in it."

"I love you Lia."

"And I love you too Theodore. I always will. It just can't be like that anymore.. You have a good girl. Don't mess that up again." My heart aches.

"So just like that? We're nothing?" That tore me even more. I can hear the pain in his voice, but he can't play the victim.

"For now, yes. We need to stay away from each other. That's the only way we can move on. When we grow, then maybe we can become friends again.. For now.. I need to do me and you need to do you." I fought back the tears and I could tell he was doing the same.

"I love you.. so much.. so I'll set you free. But can I have one last hug?" I smiled and hugged him. I didn't want to let him go, but I had to. "Goodbye Theodore."

"Bye Cordelia." I walked out to go change. I just have to be strong for me.

No one is ever prepared for getting their heart completely torn. It feels like I'll always feel broken for all eternity.. The pain never fully leaves. It numbs itself until it wakes up again and creeps up on you. But my mental health needs to come first. I can't sit around and be depressed all day. I have to venture out.

I'm young. I have my whole life ahead of me. Who knows how many more boyfriends will break my heart. But that's part of life. You live. You learn. You grow.

"Sorry I took so long." "No its fine! C'mon." I smiled.