Journal

16

Isn't it just wonderful when you know nobody likes you. Like I know I'm loved by my friends and family and stuff but... it's nice to know some one "like likes" you. Oh yea! And isn't it just peachy when you gotta crush on this guy and he complains to you about one of your friends rejecting him a bunch of times. It's good tho. I'm thriving and I'm actually happier now than I was. I have more self confidence and I know I'm ugly but I own it. I do have a confession to make. I got mad, like really mad, at my friend for stealing my sharpies and I kinda talked crap behind her back and for that I feel awful. I'm not gonna text her but when I see her tomorrow I'm gonna tell her that I overreacted and I hope she forgives me. I feel really bad. I'm glad my friends stay with me. I don't deserve them but they love me no matter what. I'm stuck about this one friend though. We've been friends my entire life but I realize she's been quite manipulative toward not only me but her other friends as well. Idk what to do. She's nice to me but she's manipulative. She twists my words and forces me to do things. I'm not sure how to handle this and I don't wanna ruin a relationship that was really great. I've begun to stand up for my self though. Not well but I do. I look too innocent. I look too weak. I wish I was strong. I wish I was intimidating. I wish I could speak up for myself more often. That's ok though. I started listening to people who I don't like so I can find their down falls so I can use it against them when I finally explode. It's gonna happen soon. I promise. There will be tears, cuz I'm soft and can't yell at literally anyone without crying, and there will be trips to the office because I used inappropriate language in a classroom. *bows* Thank you for tuning in for my Ted Talk...