Journal

17

He definitely knows I like him. I was texting him at lunch and so I tell him to come over to my table but of course as soon as he walks over all of my friends scream at him saying  "Alyssa likes you! She wants to kiss u so bad... You and Alyssa should get together" he kinda just made a face and awkwardly walked away. Idk what kind of face it was but it was either he likes me back of was overwhelmed by the screaming. Idk tho. He's so cute. He smiled and waved at me from across the lunch room and it was adorable. He's so pure and genuine I swear. I wish he liked me back. I wish he'd hug me and make me feel comfortable and safe and loved again. I wish he'd smile at me and look in my eyes. Every time he talks I blush. I wish my friends wouldn't have done that. If he knows I like him and he doesn't like me back it could ruin our friendship. I don't want that to happen. He's... he's gorgeous... he's flawless... he's perfect. I wish I could cuddle with him right now. Tell him how much he means to me. Maybe kiss him once of twice if he'd let me. I bet he's a good kisser. I bet his lips are always soft. He's so cute. I can't get over it. My friends say they made it better or they helped but they didn't. They made my life so much worse. They flat out told the guy that I really like that I like him when he for sure has no interest in me. Knowing we have no chance upsets me a lot but I can't be upset with him because he is his own person and probably doesn't know. He's so pretty...