Journal

13

Haven is so manipulative I swear. I can't even eat lunch with her without her trying to manipulate me. I can't sit down and talk without her threatening me and twisting my words and forcing things upon me. She told Kayde she'd kill her cat if Kayde cut her hair. THATS SO GAY! Kayde can do whatever makes her happy. That makes me so mad. Kayde already has anxiety and she already has an awful self esteem. Anything haven says can't help. There's no way. Haven has been a great friend to me but I'm realizing how much she manipulates her peers. It hurts. I know she doesn't mean it. I know she's just playing but it actually hurts. It's brought me to tears knowing that my friendship may be ending. And now I feel like I'm separating from more of my friends like Gigi. I love Gia. She's one of my very best friends. I don't want her to leave. Idk how to handle any of this. We were talking about weaknesses in youth today but I still don't understand why God gave me these weaknesses. I'm too soft and kind. I'm too loving. I hate it. I can't get mad at anyone without crying. I hate that I'm so sensitive. I don't know why God did this but he's got me in the palm of his hand. I just don't know the plan yet.