I See Stars; Tyrus

Our Love Is God

We'll plant our garden here
Our love is God - Heather's the musical

The whole school is mourning.

I mean it, man. Beck is still in the hospital and very much alive but people are acting like he's dead; they leave flowers at his locker, the principle had a special assembly for him and nearly every girl in the school has now become Andi's best friend, because it was her man that got hurt.

Not me, and thats the worst part. People are starting to resent me for not getting the knife. It hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be, maybe because people now think that I'm Cyrus's best friend, and any friend of Cyrus's is a friend of theirs. Or maybe its because they feel bad about me cause I lost my jacket. I don't know.

What I do know is that I can't concentrate in class, exactly why I'm bringing back today's Jonah Beck memorial to mind, because if I don't then I'll look across the room at Cyrus. And if I look across the room at Cyrus then my face will flush and I might die.

Its like I can feel his presents, Cyrus Goodman is four seats away from me, probably writing down something useful for a pop quiz that I'm going to fail because Cyrus Goodman is four seats away from me.

It has been two days since we kissed at the swings, two days since we became official boyfriends. I want to tell somebody, but Cyrus hasn't told his parents about us yet, and as much as I want to tell Amber, nowhere in my house is it safe to tell anyone.

Anyway Geography class, four seats, Memorial.

When the school bell shrills (finally I might add) everyone shuffles out of the room, I get picked up in the fast storm of neon and large hair and weave my way around it to get to Cyrus.

"Hey," I match my pace to his as we make our way to the cafeteria. Cyrus smiles at me and my cheeks pinken even thought I just had class with him, there is no chill pill in TJ Kippen when Cyrus is here.

"Hi," Cyrus leans all his books onto his left side so that his right arm swings emptily beside him, my arm reaches out and brushes his ever so lightly, I know we both want to hold hands, but we can't. Not here. Not out in public unless its dark and we're by ourselves, and I hate it.

We enter the dining hall and Cyrus leads me to his group of friends, ever since Buffy talked to me two days ago I have a free pass to sit with them whenever. Buffy and Andi are the only ones that know about us, not Walker or Jonah, but that doesn't stop our hands linking together the second we sit down and my knee pressing against his.

"She is such a betty god." Buffy was stating to Andi as we joined the table, "like she was dipping about me saying I was a dark little brat. I'm sorry Sandy that your such a couch potato to see my baller skills."

"Totes," Andi says half-heartedly, then she turns to us, "hey guys."

"So who do I need to slug for you?" I ask Buffy after greeting Andi, Cyrus turns to me while unpacking his brown paper bag of lunch, "You wouldn't slug anyone TJ."

I look at him affectionately, "Cyrus... I would literally slug anyone if they're insulting my friends."

This makes Andi crack a small smile, she really hasn't been ace or smiley like usually since the accident. "You guys are nuts."

"At least we're not whoever Buffy's about to rumble with." I say and poke my spoon into the regular caf slob. Cyrus elbows my arm and offers me half of his ham sandwich which I take gratefully smiling back at him.

"Gag me with a spoon you guys are too cute." Buffy says, but her usual bite isn't in it. I watch as she turns her head and stares off at the distance, I follow her eye line and see her watching the jock table, my ex friend table. I wonder if...