It Took The Death of Hope

Chapter 10 - Back to Normal.

A Few Days Later;

Corey's House;

Ashlee Gray...

Stretching in the huge bed in the room that Corey had picked out for me - I finally snuggled back down under the covers. It was nice and cosy. The weather had turned bad since I had gotten out of the hospital. I could even hear the heavy drop of hail against the window. I love this time of year. Winter has always been my favourite season. However, this year felt different.

I don't quite know how to explain why it feels so different but there is just this...feeling of heaviness that I can't seem to shake no matter what I do.

I know that I should at least feel a little relieved, Cole is in prison and there is no way that he can hurt me anymore, but I have a sense that it's not over. Am I overreacting? Am I being silly? I should talk to someone about this...I know Corey has made a list and arranged appointments for me to see some of the best therapists in the area; informing me that once I had seen each one, I could make my own choice about which one I want to see on a regular basis.

Do I want to talk to a shrink though? A part of me says yes because they can be unbiased but another part of me says no, that I want someone who is going to be on my side, no questions asked.

"You awake Ash?" Corey's voice filtered through the door.

Do I want to see him? Do I want to talk to him? Don't get me wrong, I adore him. There is no way that I would have made it this far without him. That being said my crush on him is getting out of control and I know that he doesn't feel the same way. I need to remember that and move forward, besides Sid has been amazing. The smile came to my face before I could stop it at the thought of the man who had kissed me.

Another knock tore my thoughts from my head, "Ash?"

"Come in!" I replied as I shuffled up the bed until I was sitting up with the covers wrapped around me.

"Hey..."

"Morning," I smiled. None of this is his fault, I need to remember that. All Corey has done is be there for me and support me; no hesitations, no questions asked - I mean the man literally dropped everything to be by my side throughout the entire hospital stay.

"How are you feeling? Did you sleep ok?" he asked moving to the bed as I patted the space.

"Too early to tell how I am," I smiled, "but I slept like a log..."

"Like a log?" his head tilted to the side.

"Yeah...I never understood the whole sleep like a baby statement, because babies wake up God knows how many times in the night, right? So, a log is as good as anything, right?" I asked knowing that I had begun rambling.

How the fuck does he do this to me? I don't remember ever being tongue-tied around a man. This crush is getting beyond ridiculous - I need to get it under control. Somehow.

"You are one of a kind sweetheart," he chuckled softly, "so I was thinking..."

"Ut-oh...did it hurt?" I smirked.

"Fucking smart arse!" he stuck his tongue out at me and I giggled...I fucking giggled - I can't remember the last time I had giggled at a man. "But seriously, I thought we could go down to the hardware store..."

"What for?"

"Paint. I figured we could make this room your own, give it a lick of paint, of your choosing and get it all set up for you?"

"Corey I am not going to be here for long..."

"Nonsense." he brushed me off, did he really want me to stay? I wish I knew for sure, "while you are here, I want you to be comfortable and besides, as you can see, this room has never been decorated - so you'd be helping me..."