It Took The Death of Hope

Chapter 15 - Confrontation.

Corey Taylor...

It was good having Dylan here - it meant that I had someone to talk to about what I am feeling. Actually, my sister was the only one I could talk to about what I am feeling because she, aside from Sid, is the only one who knows about my feelings for Ash. I never felt so isolated by liking a girl before.

It's not Ash's fault - she has no idea that I am into her. And for now, that's the way I want to keep it. I mean she is with Sid. My friend.

I am trying really hard to remember the fact that Sid is my friend and I am not the type of guy who tries to steal anyone's girl, let alone a friend's girl. However, the bloody curdling scream of Ash had me moving at a speed I had no idea I possessed. I felt the door rattling on the hinges as I barrelled my way into her room.

What the fuck has he done? Anger swelled inside me as he looked guilty as sin while Ash was deathly pale, and tears threatened to fall from her glistening eyes. I caught the way her body; made to move to me, almost as if she were moving on instinct alone. But the movement didn't come, and her eyes shut down as she rose from the bed and practically raced into the bathroom and slammed the door shut.

"What did you do?" I asked Sid, my voice dangerously low and he had the good sense to at least look full of shame.

"I...didn't...I-I'm such a fucking asshole!" he sighed hanging his head.

I have a feeling that I know what happened, but I can't react. Can I? I mean I want to protect Ash - it is almost an automatic reaction these days, but at the same time - is it really my place to get involved? I know that if it were me, I wouldn't appreciate someone inserting themselves into my relationship.

What the fuck am I meant to do?

"What happened?" Dylan asked walking around me into the room. I hadn't even realised that she had followed me up here.

"We were...kissing and I-I...push-pushed too..."

"Sid!" I exclaimed.

"I know!" he sighed hanging his head, "I know...I just...she is just..."

"For.The.Love.Of.God.Do.Not.Finish.That.Sentence!" I growled angrily.

"No...God no I didn't mean it like that!" his eyes met mine and he was angry at my implication. "I am nothing like that piece of fucking shit...you should know that!"

I wanted to argue. I wanted to get in his face. I wanted to yell at him that he had the most amazing woman on his arm, and he may have just completely fucking blown it. I wanted to force him to see that he couldn't say things like she is just. Not when she had been through what she had been through. Instead I just nodded my head.

All 3 of us turned towards the small en-suite when we heard the first sob. My heart broke. My soul longed to go in there and hold her in my arms and tell her that it was all going to be ok.

Dylan and I both turned back to look at Sid. As much as I hated it - it was his place to go in there and sooth the girl that we had both fallen for.

"I got so caught up in the mom..." his voice trailed off as he stared back at the door that was separating us from Ash.

"Trust me Sid, I know how easy that is to do," Dylan told him, "but you have to try and remember what she has been through - this...what you guys have has to be at her pace, you have to let her take the lead when it comes to the intimate stuff..."

"And if you can't then you need to..." I began.

"You'd love that wouldn't you?" Sid finally snapped angrily, "face it - you are loving the fact that I have fucked up here, aren't you?"