It Took The Death of Hope

Chapter 18 - We Have a House Guest.

A Month Later;

Corey Taylor...

Most of the time I love my work - I mean who wouldn't right? I get to do what I love, which in turn allows me to travel all over the world, I have enough money in the bank that I never have to worry about the essentials the way I did when Dylan and I were kids, and I get to meet some truly amazing people. It is amazing to me that I am in this position, but at the same time - sometimes the lack of privacy is consuming.

Like today - we were filming the new video for our new single and Craig had this idea that we should have an interviewer there so we could show our fans what it's like to film with Slipknot but all the interviewer wanted to talk to me about was Ashlee.

Were we a couple? Were we happy? Did we think that Paul would be happy? I had wanted to slap the guy. Ash and I are friends. Yes, I definitely want more but she had made it abundantly clear that she wasn't interested, nor ready. Maybe that is why I am so grumpy - she wasn't interested in me. I've never wanted anyone the way I want this girl.

I lie in my bed, in my room that is right next door to her room - a paper thin wall separating us and all I want to do is go to her. I know that she isn't ready for a relationship, but I just want to hold her, lie next to her, sleep with her tucked tightly into my side. But no, I just lie in my own bed tormented by my thoughts and feelings. Would she accept me if I went to her? Or would she push me away?

God, I feel like I am losing my mind. I want her but I don't want to rush into it. I don't want to scare her away. We were closer than ever - every night we ate together, we curl up on the sofa and watch horror movies; she always curls herself into my side, her head resting on my chest, we share a drink and a cigarette before going to our own bedrooms. I mean it already feels like we are dating just without the sleeping together part. Does she think the same way?

"You're sure your roommate won't mind me staying?" Charlie Hunnam asked me. We had been filming the video for the first single from the new album, and Charlie was guest starring. The hotel where he was meant to be staying had messed up his reservation which meant that he had nowhere to stay so I had offered him my other spare room.

"Yeah she will be more than fine, she is actually a fan of your show SOA," I replied honestly.

Between Ash and my sister watching the gritty drama Sons of Anarchy; it had been my idea to offer him the role in the new video.

"That's cool," he smiled.

Finally, I turned on to my street and pulled into the driveway and killed the engine. The 2 of us grabbed his things and I led the way to the house where there was the unmistakable sound of Iron Maiden blasting from the stereo. I couldn't stop the smile from coming to my face. Could I love this girl anymore?

"So, this roommate...?"

"Yeah?"

"Girlfriend?"

"It's complicated...a few months back - her boyfriend...he attacked her pretty savagely and she just isn't ready for anything more..."

"But you are open to something happening?" he asked me.

"Yeah...definitely," I nodded.

"That's pretty shit about her ex,"

"It was heart-breaking to watch her but she was amazing...she went to court and faced him down, she pushed her own limits in her bid to recover..."

"You're in love with her?"

"Honestly, I think I am!" I nodded as I unlocked the door and stepped over the threshold, "honey I'm home?" I called out.