It Took The Death of Hope

Chapter 17 - It's Over.

Later That Night;

Sid Wilson...

Corey had been insufferable all day. It didn't matter what I did, or what I said - it was wrong. I know that he is pissed at me. I know that he thinks I am scum right now. But he couldn't possibly hate me as much as I hate myself for what I had done last night.

I don't even know why I did it.

No that is a fucking lie. I did it because I was horny. I did it because I was angry. I did it because I wanted to feel something other than the rejection that I felt from Ash. Which is beyond pathetic. It wasn't like she was rejecting me - she just wasn't ready. And now in the cold light of day I can see that.

'Hey baby, I am so sorry for asking you to leave - can you please call me? -A X.' I read her text again. If only I had noticed that before leaving the bar with Stacey last night. Would it have made a difference?

I like to think that it would have. I mean part of the reason I did it was because I had convinced myself that Corey was with her, whispering in her ear that she could do better than me. Even now I know how utterly fucking stupid that was. Corey may be into the girl, but he would never undermine me. I know that. Why hadn't I known that last night? I guess my frustration, rejection and fear all rolled into one had turned me into a paranoid asshole.

My biggest problem has always been that - if I think I am about to be hurt, I will lash out first. And last night is the perfect example of that.

There was one thing that Corey was right about - I had to tell her. I have to be honest. Right now, it just doesn't feel like our time. I don't want to hurt her any more than I already have but being with her - it just isn't right. She isn't ready. I should have known that all along. I shouldn't have allowed my selfish desires to get the better of me.

I just hope to fucking hell that she doesn't hate me. I can't stand the thought of that. Fuck I don't know what I'll do if she says she never wants to talk to me again!

Finally, the Uber pulls up outside of Corey's house, his steel blue mustang is already parked in the driveway. Great. I have so much ground to cover because I need to make it up to him too. We have never allowed women to come between us before - and I just can't let it stew because I don't intend to lose my friend either. However, he was going to have to wait because I want to get things with Ash cleared up first.

The girl in question met me at the front door, smiling brightly - her purple hair hidden underneath a Jack Daniels bandana, face completely devoid of make-up, an oversized t-shirt hung loosely over her upper body, and a pair of loose-fitting sweats covered her bottom half. She truly was one of the most beautiful women I have ever met. And I had blown it.

No - we just hadn't ever stood a chance because if Cole.

"Hey beautiful," I greeted her with a bear hug, which she had confessed that she loved.

"Hey, you," the sound of her breathing me in was consuming and killing me, "how was your day?"

"Loooong!" I sighed as we stepped back from one another and she closed the large solid oak door, "but we need to talk!"

"Yes, we really do," she smiled softly, she looked almost scared, "can I get you a drink first?"

"I could go for something cold, if you have it?"

"Of course...you know how Taylor is with his cold drinks!"

Smiling and nodding at her, I waited by the stairs for her to grab the drinks. I am worried if I see Corey we will get into another argument and I don't want that. I need my head clear for the conversation that Ash and I were about to have.