It Took The Death of Hope

Chapter 28 - Rift.

A Few Weeks Later;

Las Vegas, Nevada;

Ashlee Gray...

Turns out I actually really enjoy being on the road. Who knew? I felt like I could see what my brother had been in chase of. After all these years - I finally feel like I know and understand him all the better. I just wish that he was here to experience this with me. At the risk of sounding weird, I can feel him around me. Trust me; I understand that sounds weird and worthy of a few nights in a psyche-ward; but I can't shake the feeling. In some ways I don't want to shake the feeling.

The guys were currently on stage doing a sound-check while I am in the wardrobe room ironing and sorting out the little issues that Mick and Shawn had informed me of last night when they got off stage.

I had the door open for a bit while I worked but as is prone there had been a lot of static feedback as they rehearsed, which had been giving me a headache. So I ended up closing the door and turning on my phone to one of my Elvis Presley albums. It was the soundtrack to my favourite Elvis movie - Viva Las Vegas - the one he did with the amazing Ann Margaret. And here I was singing all of her parts in the duet - The Lady Loves Me when I heard a cough. My hips stopped, and I froze to the spot.

"Looking good Ash!" Shawn's voice boomed over my music as the heat stained my face.

"Oh uhm...thanks!" I slowly turned to see how bad my mortification truly needed to be. There was Shawn, Mick and Sid. Kill me now! "Uhm Mick your suit is all fixed and hanging in your case,"

"Thanks Kid," he replied, moving over to the case where I had propped his suit for the show.

"I am just finishing up yours Shawn..." I said to the older man who was smiling at me. I didn't really know all of the guys that well. Mostly I knew Corey and Sid the best, mainly because they had been the ones helping me with the aftermath of the attack.

All the other guys had given me space. Something that I was immensely grateful for. I mean having 9 men surrounding me would have made it almost impossible for me to work through things. However, that being said just because they hadn't crowded me - didn't mean that they weren't there for me.

"No rush baby-girl, we don't go on stage for another 8 hours," Shawn replied smiling as he moved to Mick.

"Hey beautiful," Sid approached me, "I didn't know you could sing..."

"Sid babe, that was more like cat drowning than singing," I laughed softly as I finished the last stitch on the suit on my table.

"You sell yourself short baby," he leaned over and kissed my head.

We have been on the road for about a week already and I can't shake the feeling that there is a wedge forming between Corey and me. We hardly hang out anymore, he barely says 2 words to me and forget even looking at me. The man avoids me at all costs.

The worst of it is that I am unsure if I have done something to piss him off, or if this is just how he is on tour. What I do know is that I hate the distance between us. I would give my life to feel the closeness we had felt before leaving to come on the road.

"Hey what's wrong?" Sid asked reaching for my hand and stopping me from doing anything.

"Nothing!" I tried to smile but know that I failed spectacularly.

"Come on now, I thought we were better friends than this," he wouldn't let it go.

I should have known; Sid was tenacious when he got an idea in his head. I mean, what had I really expected? Even I would have called me out on that response. It had been beyond lame.