It Took The Death of Hope

Chapter 9 - Advice.

Dylan Taylor...

My mind has been stuck on Ash all day - she was facing her ex in court today. The ex who had savagely attacked her and brutally violated her. I don't know where she finds the courage to do it, but it was impressive. To say the very least.

In fact, she had given me the courage to take my life back. I just have to find the right time.

I want to start over. I want my life back. I don't want to live in fear anymore. I don't want to live my life walking on eggshells every day. I don't want to have to censor myself for fear of saying the wrong thing. I want a man to look at me the way Sid and my brother look at Ash and I don't want to fear that.

As it is - Ken looks at me and 9 times out of 10 I flinch from what I assume is coming. How is that normal? How can he possibly think that I love him? Because I don't love him...not even a little bit anymore; I stay because I am terrified. I stay because I don't want anyone I love or care about, to get hurt...or worse. That fear is what has kept me there - trapped, hostage, whatever you want to call it, but it has to end. One way or another - I am getting out. I just know that I have to be smart about it.

My phone ringing pulled me from my thoughts and for a few minutes I worried about who it could be calling. I don't want to talk to Ken right now. But when I looked at the name - my brother's name blinked before me, "hey, how is it going?"

"He got 8 years with no possibility of parole and Ash was awarded 800 grand in damages..."

"Wow!" I would be lying if I said that I wasn't surprised by the ruling. "How is she?"

"She is still in shock..."

"That's understandable brother, but what's eating you?"

"I don't know what you are talk..."

"Bullshit!" I charged, "come on, you are my brother and I know you better than you think - so talk to me, what's going on?"

"Fuck Dy, I'm in trouble..."

"Trouble? What do you mean? What's happened?" I panicked, "what did you do?"

"I...I-uhm-I...think-that-I-am-fall...falling for Ash!" now there were 2 things wrong with what my brother has just said - the most obvious being that he never stuttered over his words; Corey is just super confident, always and then there was the fact that he didn't do full on feelings with women, not since his marriage to Sara had ended.

Sara had hurt my brother really badly - she had made him believe that she loved him, that she would do anything for him - but the whole time, she had been sleeping around behind his back and, I can't say stealing, but she was pocketing money from him and putting into a private account. My brother is a lot of things but when he loves someone, he will go to bat for them, no questions asked, and he loves with all his heart. Sara had taken advantage of that fact.

"Dy...? You still there?"

"Sorry Corey," I bumped back into the moment, "so you are finally admitting it then?"

"Excuse me?"

"Come on Core - I see the way you look at her, hear the way you talk about her...you are completely smitten, tell me I am wrong?" I dared him to deny it.

The line was silent for a long beat before he sighed heavily, "I can't tell you that..."

"I knew it!"

Now the question was - do I tell him that Ash is attracted to him too? I mean I had promised her that I wouldn't and right now, being with another man might be the very last thing on her mind. Hell; she may never be totally comfortable with a man again but if there was anyone who could get her past this - it was most definitely my brother.