Chapter 12 - Trying to Remember.

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Ashlee & Cole's Old Apartment;

The Following Morning;

Corey Taylor...

I can barely look at Sid. After Ash woke up screaming - she asked me to stay with her the rest of the night. Against my better judgement I relented and climbed into bed with her. At some point during the night; she had clearly moved away from me but in my sleep - I had rolled in behind her as I woke up with my arm draped over her slender waist and my face buried in her silken hair. And rock fucking hard.

I had promised Sid that I wouldn't act on my feelings. I had promised him that I wasn't a threat and while all of that had been true last night, this morning that all changed.

Waking up beside her - it had felt more right than I had envisioned it being. The small moan that she made as she stretched; completely unaware of me but when she felt me, she had stiffened harder than my cock, which I had seriously thought was impossible. What should have been awkward and embarrassing - had been so unbelievably comfortable and easy that I had forgotten for a few moments that we weren't actually a couple.

Sid arriving had propelled me out of her bed and room. Thankfully he didn't have a key and hadn't walked in on us in the position we had been in.

Ash and I hadn't even managed to talk about what it had been. I wanted to talk to her desperately about the situation we had found ourselves in. I wanted to know that it wasn't just me who had felt at peace this morning. I wanted to know that she loved waking up next to me. Fuck am I really doing this?

Sid is the one in love with her. Sid has always been in love with her. And I had promised. I had assured him that there was no way I was ever going to act on my little crush. But things have changed now.

Looking at her now - her long plum hair was tied in a messy bun; loose strands framed her beautiful features, with a very light layer of make-up, dressed in black leggings and an off the shoulder sweater dress - she was beyond stunning. I was literally aching for her. Aching in a way that I hadn't ached for a woman in the longest time. It had snuck up on me so quickly that all I can really feel is complete and utter shame.

Shame because Sid is one of my closest friends. Shame because I had promised Sid that I was no threat. Shame because Ash had no idea of the truly dirty thoughts going through my mind. Shame because Ash just needs me to be her friend.

What the fuck would she think of me if she were to know the things, I am imagining doing to her? Fuck what would Sid do if he knew what I was thinking? There is no happy ending here, right? Either way someone will get hurt. But damn it, I want her. I need her.

"Anything baby?" Sid asked as she moved around the small living room.

I'm not entirely sure why she was living so far beneath her means. It's not like she didn't have plenty of money. We, as a band, had ensured that she and Paul's wife and daughter were given equal payments. It hadn't been a menial amount of money either. So why had she chosen to live in this small shithole?

"No...nothing!" she sighed walking around, picking up little bits that had been knocked over during the attack. Had she told him what she had remembered last night from her dream? I don't want to bring it up on the off chance that she hadn't mentioned it to him. Although in all honesty, I am not entirely sure why she wouldn't tell him.

I watched her move around, her eyes scanning over things as she proceeded to practically begin to tidy up the mess. And that was when she noticed it - right on the floor where there was a large blood stain, there was a small dustpan and brush - just like she had mentioned in her dream. In what felt like slow motion but was actually quicker than the blink of an eye - her gaze turned to me. I knew what she was thinking - this was confirmation that her nightmare wasn't a mere dream, it had been a memory.

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