The Pain is all worth it.

Day #3

Woke up today from a dream of riding a plane flyed by a mentor of mine. I was raising my awareness this days that I have been looking for meaning for my dreams. For some reason, I have been having good dreams. My hard work being paid off, my long wait being nearly over, abundance and wealth. Wow. It's just wonderful. Isn't it?

It WAS going well. But then I am now asking myself. Am I that heavy to drag? 😅 I was supposed to go in the morning to a cooperative orientation. It was part of the process so that I can borrow money from them. Is it the Lord stopping me and telling me to think twice? I fell asleep til noon. When I woke up it was a bit late (very late actually since the orientation starts at 8am 😑). But I really feel like I should have gone. Though what good outcome would it be if I went there but not 100% passionate (what a term!)

Maybe it wasn't meant to be 😕. I had lunch and watched Boruto. How productive is my day? Tell me. At 2pm, I fixed myself and get ready. I got a class by 3pm. What a drag! It was raining and I really don't feel like going out. I still did though.

I was right! I should have stayed home. We only had attendance because my teachers are all not really into teaching at the moment since not everybody is enrolled. It's still partly first week of 2nd sem classes.

I felt like I wasted time. But looking for positive things today, I have a lot. I got here my top 10 ⬇️

1. Everybody I love is alive and safe. I am very grateful and thankful. Life is unpredictable.
2. We got food to eat. My family had a vegetable soup today and at school my friends were eating like it's no problem. I heard no complaint about not having enough money today. That's awesome! For a poor person like me, that's definitely something!
3. It's my friend's birthday. She didn't celebrated it with me or any of our friends but with her family. Although she is having an asthma attack, I just feel happy for her. I just really am.
4. My daughter was being bad. She played with my portable juicer and wireless mini fan. Of course, as careless as she is, they were destroyed. Naturally, I got mad. And sometimes when we are, we say things that hurts like hell. She was crying. Previously, even if it was her fault, she would never say sorry. She would just cry but her pride is very high. Just now, she hugged me and kissed me in my forehead. She said she was sorry for the things she did. She was sorry and she would never do it again. I feel like wow. Is this my girl? How sweet of her. This is nice. She changed. I am blessed to be a mother to her.
5. One of my friend, a classmate, she's a mother too, so we kind of relate to each other, was able to pour her heart out to me. Her uncle recently died and of course, it must be still unacceptable for her. She got other family issues too that she wants to get out of her chest. I am happy and grateful that I went to school and was able to lend my ear to her. I know how it feels when we all just wanted to be heard and no one is listening. I am happy I was there for her. I am happy she was able to let it out and breathe a little better than before.
6. It was raining but I got my umbrella. I really don't usually bring one since I really hate it and it's usually just another thing making my bag heavy. It was a small thing but I really am grateful.
7. I am seeing more of positive things like Godly quotes and holding on quotes on Facebook. I love it.
8. I am about to do Yoga and pilates. I actually don't feel like it but since I wrote it her, by the time Zhyn is asleep, I will roll out my mat and watch Adriene and Cassy.
9. My heart isn't as heavy as before when I was mad and I feel tranquility in my heart. Thank you, Lord.
10. My Henson is always understanding. He is goofy and funny. He is sweet. He is hot (lol). He is perfect for me. ❤️ He is always making me feel good. I can never be more thankful to the Lord for giving him to me. I am happy that the person I was chasing before, didn't stop and pushed me away. My life with Henson is every girl dream life with a guy. Thank you Lord.

DESPITE of all negativity today, I am overwhelmed with gratitude. I am blessed. I am love. I am attracting positive vibes. It is more abundant than receiving 800php and 1000php on my day 1 and day 2. I look forward to day 4's blessings. It may come in a tangible or intangible way. It will come. It has come. I am claiming it!