The Pain is all worth it.

Day #11

What a productive day! I got a lot of "soon". Isn't that a bad thing? Well....

Struggling these days, I couldn't help but feel hopeless. I forcedly been dragging myself to be positive. I won't say I am yeah all good and well. No. I am not. I am feeling lazy and scared. Scared of slowly losing everything. Scared of not having enough.

Comparison helps.

It isn't about feeling superior from others. It is about feeling blessed. It is about seeing the good in your situation. It makes you compassionate. Once you start to see good in everything, you will not judge them because you are in a better situation than they are, you will feel how lucky you are and motivated to be more so you can help them.

So, think and think and think. How are you in a better situation than others? And what does that makes you feel?

Right now, I have here my top 10 realisations for today:

1. I have more than enough. No, I am not losing to the point of emptiness. I still have more than enough.

2. I have my family and friends. They are alive and well. They can eat. They may struggle. But they are breathing. That's a sign of hope.

3. It is a message. A sign. Something great is coming. Trust the Lord. Trust the process. Everybody's been telling me to wait. It's like God saying "Dear, do you really need it to be said to you literally? Stop panicking. 😅"

4. I just ate what I want. Not what I can. It means I really have no reason to panic.

5. People have been giving positive responses to my business proposals. Though they are not ready to start yet but that is better than no. Definitely a sign that says "wait!"

6. The baby's home!!! She's healthy and soooo beautiful. A gift of life. A powerful present from the Almighty. She's like a star. Shining in the darknesss. She's so fragile and small. A precious little angel.

7. My soulmate cooked for me. Lack of sleep didn't stopped him. He did it well. My little girl is smiling at me and been telling me "I love you mommy". It warms my heart. When they both hugged me, I lost a baggage of anxiousness.

8. The title of this book I am writing keeps me from giving up. At first, I choosed it because I was thinking of compiling motivational messages. But experience is better. I am a real person. I am imperfect. And I want to empathise with others that may be in a same place as I am. I am not looking for empathy myself. I am sharing my real time experience with my readers to make them feel that my "don't give up" isn't just a word that I am saying without a back story.

9. Life is still good to me. My cousin who gave birth, have nothing. 3 kids at 22 and a husband who's a janitor. Life is still good to me. And maybe it is because I need to help my family. My cousin's situation is just one of the many poor circumstance my family is in. This makes me want to work hard and help them too.

10. I started small. I have been here and I survived. I have even been in worse situations than this but I survived. So, I will survive. I will make it. I will get through it. I already did.

What's yours? Promise. It will make you feel better. You will feel lighter. You will feel grateful. You will see the light again. Tough times never lasts. Only tough people does. 👌💪 Fighting!