The Pain is all worth it.

Day #14

Then Jesus said to His disciples : "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear.

Luke 12:22

God is everywhere. He is in everything we do. Becoming aware of His presence however is hard. We sometimes gets to caught up with the situation that we forget about Him.

Today, I've listened to a podcast of Brother Bo Sanchez and he said that God is found even in the most ordinary thing. Now, earlier today, around 1am, my hubby and I were walking down the street and talking about our dreams and future. We had coffee and late night/early morning milk tea. We would argue about our dream house on how things are supposed to be arranged and we would also laugh together at how silly our ideas are. And while listening to Brother Bo, I realised that early this morning then, God is present.

God is present. As we continued our conversations, we also talked about the painful 7th year anniversary celebration we had. Third party were involved and last night, he just told me he saw "the guy". I then thought maybe he doesn't love me anymore. Why was he seemed to be cool about it? And so to ease my worries, maybe he sensed it, he told me how powerful our relationship now is. Compared to before, we are more open with our feelings for each other. We spend a lot of time together and every week we go on dates. We travelled to places we never thought we can and we build wonderful memories together.

God was, is and will always be around. He mended our broken hearts. And even though we are literally broke also as of right now, he never leaves us alone. I had food to eat and even extras to buy some stuffs. My daughter met a little girl who she bonded with right away. My friend celebrated her birthday today, and I wish her pure happiness and contentment. I am happy for her.

My thoughts are going down again. I feel bad about thinking how insensitive this other friend of mine. I guess I should accept who she is. I should not feel hate towards her attitude but I should laugh it out. I should be positive.

But sometimes the more we push ourselves to be positive, the more it gets harder. We chooses to be blind from our own shortcomings.

So, let's acknowledge it.

I acknowledge that I have negative feelings towards my friend. Maybe out of jealousy. I acknowledged that. But I will also acknowledge my self awareness and thoughts. I acknowledge the Lord who is the mightiest of all. I acknowledge that He will get me through this. My life is His. My hatreds aren't strong enough to change it. I am happy because I choosed to be. I am rich because I know I am. I am not worried because God's got my back. 🙏 As I am, so should you.