The Pain is all worth it.

Day #23

Open your eyes.

Sometimes what we are praying for comes in the most........ unlikely (?) way.

Lord, please give me a sale so that I can get more money to help my family and friends and even strangers.

I have been praying that for months. I believed and believed and believed. Til I got to the point where I felt frustrated why I couldn't close a sale. I needed money. I feel like I am running out of it. I was having an internal fight with myself between giving and saving. I should save because if I don't, I'd be left with nothing. I should give because that's the rule. You can't receive if you can't give. It is a cycle.

Saturday, November 30th at 10pm.
I received 30,000php. Wow! Right? But... no. I feel like it was too small.

WAIT.

That's not how I should feel. I should be grateful. I don't know what happened to me but my anxiety attacked me. So hard.

Then, I prayed to the Lord. I prayed to control my emotions and thoughts and actions. I prayed to control myself. I prayed to keep my feet on the ground to avoid forgetting where I came from. I prayed that I can remember Him all the time. Not just when I need Him or when I am soo happy. But also on days where everything is just okay. I prayed to the Father to hold me tight since I feel like I am slipping away.

I am not sure if what was that feeling that cause my anxiety to go berserk but the Lord has defeated it already. The Lord is the pilot of my life. Whatever His plans are, I will fear no evil. 🙏💜