Roommates... with my Ex Boyfriend (Roommates Series: Book #1)

Chapter 38

A year later...

Lauren

Something is bothering Jace.

Normally, I would leave it alone, but he's been like this for just over a week. He leaves the table quickly, as soon as he's finished his meal. Whether we're alone or with others, he can barely look me in the eye. I'm not sure what it is, but something he looks guilty or nervous.

I look around our house, trying to find this man. My eyes land on him when they look out the glass door that leads to the backyard. He's sitting on bench on our patio, looking out; his shoulders being very tense. I open the door and since it's not exactly silent, he jumps at the sound of my arrival. He looks back at me, but unlike in other situations like this one, he doesn't seem to relax when he sees that it's me.

I take a seat beside him and he still refuses to look at me. I sigh. "I've been waiting for you to come to me, but since you haven't, I want to know why you've been acting strangely recently."

"I'm nervous, that's all it is," he replies, looking down at his hands.

"What are you nervous about?"

He finally looks me in the eye. "I'm afraid that you'll give me the answer I don't want to hear. I'm not sure what I'd do if you gave me that answer. Our relationship wouldn't be the same, that's for sure."

I frown. "Then why are you asking it?"

Why would he risk changing our relationship? Before he started acting weird, we were in a good spot. We both have jobs, jobs that don't ask us to risk our lives. We were happy together too. I was beginning to see a future, a long, good future that consisted both of us together. I've never been more in love with this man. So why is he doing this?

"Because I want to," he explains.

He wants to change and possibly ruin our relationship? A part of me wants to tell him that he shouldn't ask me the question, because I don't want change. The other part of me knows that since he wants to ask me, this isn't going away. I won't be able to avoid this question forever. So, I guess there's really no point in not doing it now.

"It's okay," I say, "you can ask me."

He let's out a breath of air. He's really nervous. "I've loved you for a very long time, ever since we first met. Even after we had our first conversation and I saw what kind of girl you were, I knew that you were the one for me. I knew that I wanted to be with you and keep you forever. Obviously, I wasn't able to do that. I lost you four years after I had you. It wasn't anyone else's fault, but mine. I took for granted that you would always be there, by my side, no matter what happened."

"Then, three years later, I had you in my life again. I was so happy that the universe decided to give me a second chance. I was even more happy when we became good friends too. I was going to do whatever I could to get you back as mine and if it meant you accepting me as your friend until then, I was okay with that. No words could describe how I felt when Jess told me that you were going to go on a date with me when we were on the beach. I never knew how much I missed you when we became best friends again --- when we became a couple again. After that first date, I badly wanted to keep you forever. I lost you again, for the second time and my heart shattered."

"I couldn't live without you. I wasn't happy knowing that there was absolutely no way that I was going to get you back this time. My parents can tell you how much of a mess I was. I had to take antidepressants and even saw a therapist a couple of times; that's how much I missed you. After I lost even more people, I was told that you were alive, that you were going to be in my arms again. I don't know why I was given a third chance, because I honestly don't deserve it, but I promised myself that I wasn't going to mess it up this time. I want to have you in my life until we both die of old age. That's what I was nervous about. I was worried that you wouldn't want to be with me for so many more years, but since you want me to ask, I'll ask." He gets off the bench, stands in front of me, pulls a box out of his back pocket, then gets down on one knee. A gasp escapes my lips and my eyes begin to moisten. Jace opens the box, revealing the most beautiful diamond ring that I have ever seen.