Positive (Ed Sheeran)

Chapter 40

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The next morning was extremely rough.

I woke up feeling refreshed and I was in the greatest mood. I rubbed my eyes and had seen Ed writing something in a journal.

It was cute seeing him so focused. I figured maybe he was writing another song.

"Good morning. What'chu writing?" I smiled, warmly.

Ed only looked at me for what I can say was barely a second, and then he walked outside. I didn't understand why he looked so hurt, but then it hit me.

Last night, I turned into someone else.

Last night, I became a monster.

It wasn't even right of me, I knew that as soon as it was happening. Now, I can't even remember the things that I said. I just know that they were ugly.

I pulled my hair tie from my wrist and put my hair up. Then I got up and exited the tent, where I noticed all the guys were having breakfast.

Murray noticed me first. "Hey, Charlie!" He grinned at me. "You hungry? I saved you a seat right here," He patted the area of dirt next to him.

I nervously made my way towards Murray and sat close by him. I tried to smile, but my eyes darted over at Ed and seen that he was sitting quietly next to Pass. Unlike everyone else, Ed didn't even acknowledge that I was there. It was as if I didn't even exist, and that truly hurt me.

"Did you hear the news?" Murray nudged me, gently. "I get to stay with you and Elliot."

"Yeah," I smiled, but then I remembered. "Oh- I mean, no. No, I didn't hear."

Murray tilted his head. "Oh? I thought Ed would've mentioned it by now,"

I couldn't help but laugh. "And I thought cats turned blue."

I heard giggles from Harry and Example, but it didn't matter. I felt Stu's eyes on me, but it didn't matter. All that mattered was that Ed was chewing silently as I glared angrily at him.

"Um," Murray seemed uncomfortable. "Is everything okay?"

"Fine." I faked a smile. "Things are just fine." I looked away from Ed, but only for a moment. I reassured Murray with a smile and then quickly turned back to Ed, but then I realized, this time he was staring back at me, and he was shaking his head.

I immediately looked away.

"Okay." Murray smiled again. "Oh! Well, did he tell you that he, Pass, Stu, and Harry will be leaving today?"

My eyes widened with shock. " .. What?"

"Yup! Believe it or not, they're leaving in a few minutes. They just wanted to eat before their trip, you know?... Uh, Charlie? What's wrong?"

"Ed ..didn't tell me that." I stuttered and tried to swallow, but I just couldn't. I literally had to force the lump to scrape down my throat and disappear forever.

"Oh.." Murray murmured and then there was silence.

The quiet broke me. I sat there feeling like a complete idiot.

I never meant for any of this to happen.

All I want to do is make everyone happy, especially Ed.

But all I do is hurt him.

It's my fault Ed doesn't want to tell me things anymore.

I'm a terrible person.

"Someone please explain why it just got super awkward! Good God," Stu suddenly shouted and then I nervously played with my hands.