January 16, 1996. I, Jennie Kim, was born with a condition called Achromatopsia or total color blindness.
It means that I couldn’t see any color other than black or white. It’s like I am living in a movie from the 1930’s. But the difference is, this is not just any movie, this is my life.
I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock. It is 7:00 in the morning and I almost want to get back to bed and never wake up again as I remembered that this is the first day of my senior year that I dreaded the most.
I looked around my room, being welcomed by the dull colors that I have been seeing for my whole life. But Mom and Dad said, that my room is full of colors.
It’s unfair because why would they bother to put colors in my room when I cannot even see it with my own eyes? Oh yeah, because they think that I would be able to see even just a single shade of color again.
I got out of bed to prepare for school.
Here comes another day of a Charlie Chaplin movie.
“Good Morning, Mom. Where’s Dad?” I approached my Mom and kissed her on the cheek. She’s busy cooking breakfast.
“Good Morning, honey. He went to work early today.” She sweetly smiled. She put a plate of waffles in front of me and I took a bite.
“How was your sleep?”
How was my sleep? Colorful.
I nodded. “It was good.” Yep. I dreamt that I was sliding down a colorless rainbow then I found a black unicorn at the end of it. It was good.
I finished my breakfast and said goodbye to Mom then went to school riding my bike.
I saw a school bus at the corner of the street. I read somewhere that it is color yellow.
“Good Morning, Jen.” Chaeyoung, my only friend, go to school with me every morning.
“Hey Chaeng.” I smiled at her.
“So, do you already know that there is a transfer student this semester?” She asked me while we are locking up our bikes outside the school before going to class.
“Really? Great.” I tried to appear interested but failed. I don’t really care about meeting new people.
I’m kind of contented with my life right now, minus the “not-seeing-any-color-than- black-and-white” part.
We went to separate classes and I hated it. She’s my only friend here at school.
I stepped inside the classroom and everyone’s eyes were on me.
“Oh, it’s blind girl.” Jisoo, the school’s 'queen bee' smirked. I rolled my eyes as everyone laughed at me.
I am used to it, really.
I took an empty seat at the corner of the room, trying to avoid more attention. I know I said that I’m used to it but I can’t help but pity myself. I did not choose to experience this. I did not choose to be different.
I just want to live normally like the other kids. I just want to see life normally again.
“Blind girl is crying, oh no.” Jisoo put her hand over her mouth and looked at me with a mocking face.
For the second time this day, the whole class burst into laughter. I didn’t notice that I was already crying and I hate people seeing me cry.
I’m already vulnerable in their eyes and crying in front of them is not helping at all.
