Zuka Zama Part II: The Scourge of Kopa | The Lion Guard

44. Mother

Nuka still felt numb as he walked alone through away from the battlefield and wandered aimlessly in the savanna. The conversation he had with Kovu only made him more confused. Now he had no idea what to do anymore. Should he go back and fight or should he just go? But if he did go back, what would he even be fighting for? His own mother disowned him and there was no way he could take on the Pridelands just by himself. And if he was going to go, where was he going to go? Back to the Outlands? The elephant graveyard? Somewhere in the great unknown?

He gave out a choked sigh as he realized that he truly had nothing left. His mind once again drifted back to Kovu. Out of all the lions Kovu was the one who reached out to him, went out of his way to find him on that hill even. And the things he said to him.

"Because you're my brother and I love you!"

Words he never expected to hear from Kovu, especially considering the way Nuka treated him throughout the years. But as a cub no matter how much Nuka yelled a Kovu, pushed him around and took his anger out on Kovu, he would always look up him with that dopey smile. The thought stirred a guilty feeling in the pit of Kovu's gut. All those times he was bitter about not everyone treating him like dirt and or no one ever looking at him the way they did Kovu; he never noticed that it was Kovu that actually looked up to him and showed him kindness no matter how many times he messed up or even when his fur was riddled with termites.

I was the worst to him and yet he always came running back with that dumb grin on his face, Nuka thought to himself. The more he thought about it he noticed that his breath became shaky and a lump formed in his throat. What is wrong with me? 

"He's was the only one who came back to get me", he said aloud and hearing his own voice surprised him. "He's the only one who cares about me anymore. Kovu's....all the family I got."

The words just came out on their own and as soon as they left his lips he felt tears slipping down his muzzle. He felt so sick with himself for all the times that he was awful to Kovu, the only one who seemed to ever care for him. And each time he would repay that kindness with anger and hatred. He truly hated Kovu for doing what he couldn't all those years ago. But he couldn't blame him anymore. It wasn't Kovu's fault he was talented. After all it was mother who made him that way.

Mother.

Just the word itself brought a new feeling one he never thought he'd feel towards the lioness that raised him. That unfiltered hatred he previously held Kovu to was now burning ever hotter towards his own mother. In fact all the times he tried taking his anger out on Kovu was because of how his mother treated him, punished him even when he was doing everything he could. But nothing he did or ever could do would ever be good enough for her. It was clear since the moment Kovu came along that her eyes and expectations had shifted to him and him only. Sure, when Vitani grew up she showed great promise in fighting and mother gave her a chance as well. But for Nuka himself he was always the same. He tried many different things: hunting, scavenging, fighting but none of them impressed his mother.

No, eventually he found the thing that only made her happy towards him was when he stayed out of the way. But he was so desperate to have her approval, for her to smile at him the way she smiled at Kovu that he never took a moment to think about what he was doing. Putting in so much time, effort, and even pain for someone who didn't even care and probably never would. The thing that upset him the most is that it took him all these years to finally see this. To see that Kovu was reaching out to his brother that was being abused by their own mother.

He snapped from his thoughts as he heard two thumps on the ground. Looking up he saw two lions, one he recognized as Simba himself. Nuka quickly ducked into the grass, no longer having an interest in fighting the king and he certainly didn't want to be on the receiving end of his claws. Once he was sure that the lions were way out in the distance he sprung from the grass and exhaled the breat h he didn't realized he was holding. He took a moment to check his new surroundings, looking up he saw the tall hill that he was sure the king had just come down. It was much bigger than the hill he sat upon, just thinking about that hill made Nuka want to continue on his walk to somewhere else. He certainly didn't feeling up, over and back down the hill so he began to walk around it. He noticed that unlike the hill he sat on that was covered in grass from top to bottom this hill had grass towards the bottom but below that the terrain grew more and more stony with small pebbles scattered around his own paws. He could see a carving into the hill that he guessed was made by many rocks coming loose and rolling down to the bottom judging by the pile of rocks of all kinds of sizes that sat ahead of him. He would have to climb over them to get past, much easier than than a whole hill.

Sure enough the closer he got to the pile the rocks around him went from tiny pebbles to much larger stones and even some boulders. He kept he eyes on the ground, watching out for any sharp stones that could really deal some damage to his paws. A little further he stepped in something that was....wet? Drawing his paw back and inspecting his paw he was confused on the realization that there was blood on his paw. He looked up and felt his heart nearly jump out of his chest. Right in front of him lay his own mother among the rocks. Her eyes were wide open and a trickle of blood still ran from an open wound across her chest.

Nuka had no idea what to do. Right in front of him lay the lioness who he had just had a whole storm of emotions towards. But she was clearly gone now, not only was her blood pooled out but her own head was at angle that it was clearly not supposed to be. He could only guess that something resulted in her tumbling down and landing right here. What she was actually doing he didn't even care honestly. All he was concerned about was the inner conflict he was having. He could feel tears running down his muzzle, but he felt those tears were not deserved. She was horrible to him his entire life and now here he was crying over her. He was not in anyway glad that she was gone, but he didn't want to be said about it either.

He ultimately decided to mourn over her death. But not as his mother but as a member of their clan that he knew would be missed by others. While he stood there his mind went to Kovu and Vitani. They were back there probably fighting against one another right now; trying to kill each other all because mother brainwashed him and his siblings. It seemed Kovu was lucky enough to get out, but what about Vitani? He had to go back. He had to find both of them and let them know what has happened to the lioness who raised them into who they are now for better or worse. Even if he had to drag Kovu and endure Vitani's claws he would. He just wanted all of this to come to an end. As he turned back towards the Pride Lands he found a new hope ignited within him. A hope that he, Kovu and Vitani could become an actual family. Well, a functioning one. A family that actually loved and looked out for one another and helped when one couldn't do something on their own. The family Nuka could never have with his mother still around.