Dear Diary , it's me Winona

It's In His Kiss

Nov. 27th, 2015

7:43 a.m.

Dear Dairy it's me Winona,

What the hell happened last night? Did I really say that? Did I really leave him that message? What was I thinking? Oh wait, I wasn't thinking because if I was than this whole thing would not happen in the first place. I don't want to go to work. I just can't. And David? What must he think of me right now?? Oh man, I screwed up. I screwed up Big Time.

I don't even know what to do now? Should I go to work and pretend like nothing happened? Should I call off? Should I quit? Should I move out of the country? What am I supposed to do Dear Diary? I can't deal with this now. I just can't. Quoting Rachel Green: "It's like there is rock bottom, 50 feet of crap and than me". I just want to hide somewhere where no one can find me. I know he probably hates me right now. He's mad. I know he is. He has this beautiful girl whom he really loves and now he has to deal with his stupid friend who can't control her drinking.

But,maybe he didn't get the message. Maybe he ignored it? Oh, who am I kidding? He definitely listened to it. What if he told Joe? He tells him everything. I bet they are both laughing at me now. Why wouldn't they? I acted like a fucking teenager who calls guys while being completely shitfaced.

Ring Ring

Oh, Cara is calling. I have to pick up. I'll talk to you later.

***

- Noni, hey! What happened last night? Why did you leave so soon? - Cara asked me as I picked up the phone.

- Nothing. It's just...ummmm...- I tried to tell her, but I couldn't. Just thinking about it made me wanna cry.

- Sweetheart, are you ok? - Cara asked worried.

- No- I started crying- Nothing is ok Cara. He loves some other girl and it's not me.

- What? - Cara was shocked- What girl? What are you talking about Noni?

- The girl. The girl he was talking about with Joe when they were out smoking. I overheard their conversation. She's beautiful and she makes him happy and he's crazy about her. - I sobbed. -Cara I thought that my heart will break in half when I heard that. But that's not the worst thing that happened...

- What else happened? Winona, what did you do? - Cara asked.

- Let's just say that I was a little bit wasted last night. I just couldn't deal with it while sober. I needed to forget.- I continued- At some point I lost all control and I...ummmmm... called him.

- You did what? - Cara yelled stunned.

-That's not the worst part. He didn't pick up so...- I hesitated - so I left him a little message.

- Oh God! Winona you left him a message?! What kind of a message?!

- Well, lets just say that I first said how much I hate him and than how much I love him.

- You told him you love him? Girl, What were you thinking?!- Cara couldn't believe what she was hearing.

- I wasn't thinking. That's the problem. - I panicked- Cara what do I do now? How am I supposed to face him today?