INGRID (ENGLISH VERSION)

SIBLING AFFECTION

One of my fears concerning this story is that it might be prone to great criticism, due to the fact that I allot very few pages, narrating 15 whole years of my life. However, the initial idea was that this chapter would be the beginning of my story, but I ultimately decided to give a main context to the work and start from the beginning. Consequently, what I mean to say is that the facts concerning this story and of course the readers start to this point. This is where where music, Poetry and storytelling section begins.

So, I move forward narrating about the beginning of 2011 and then I was at the halfway of the Third Grade of Junior High School. During that time, in Kirkenes we were visited by my brother, Daniel, from Finland along with his friends, his wife, Savinna and their child. They were about to stay for almost three weeks. Even though he was working as a movie soundtrack composer, his hobby was to make objects of wood and he even used to sell handicraft objects that he himself was building in Finland. Almost every evening, thus, he was placing anything he had built on a workbench and he was selling them at the backyard of our own house. This was really beautiful for one to see, as we were there too barbecueing -- before I became a vegetarian. Because then I used to invite also my own friends at home, so they could see, and even maybe buy, some of Daniel's objects. You see my brother knew how he could make money even while abroad.

A month, after Daniel went back to Finland, my parents went off for a tour, because they were to stage a play. Monica and I were rather old --already 15-- to stay on our own for 9 months, however my mum would be rather content if someone would stay with us during the night. Thus, she asked Johanna to come back from Tromso and stay with us at home. And of course, that was a great pleasure for her. She brought along her best friend, who by the way was called Johanna too. Vivian used to call them "Johanna squared", because they are completely identical and secondly they are inseparable. Alright, that wasn't bad at all. Johanna is a perfect person and we used to have a good time together at all times. What is more, her best friend and I are friends too and we sometimes work together, as she is a musician as well. A bit after they came in Kirkenes, I sat for the exams for the last certificate in piano and Monica in violin and we didn't go to school for a whole week, as we were exhausted.

To that point, I would like to move on to this part, where I am going to talk about my twin sister, Monica. Monica had always been the most retired member of our family, concerning her relations with us. I don't mean that we are not in contact -alas, we phone each other every day or talk via Skype-, she just used to live with her husband in a village close to Oulu, in Finland. One could, then, find her in Oulun Leffanmusiikkiorkesteri (Oulu film music orchestra) and she was rather chubby with red hair. Since we were young, the way that Monica would be developed as a personality was something that was worrying me. And to this day I keep accusing myself, thinking that it was maybe my own fault and I never let her develop her own personality. I will explain the reason.

To start with, Monica and I were literally speaking developed together. We used to do everything together, we were eating together and our own beds were even attached. And of course she used to tell me anything she was concerned about (even though I was extremely secretive and I would never tell anyone what I was feeling or thinking). Thus, as we were growing older, I had started to realise that two things were happening with Monica. The first was that her own personality was being developed out of people's personality, who she was growing up with. I mean that it seemed like she didn't have her own personality or her own preferences. The most obvious example is that since she was 16 she had red hair, because during that time I decided to dye my own hair red, thus she did the same. Later on, her husband told her she looks beautiful in that colour, so she would never change it. Just think that a few years ago Vivian asked Monica and me what our favourite film soundtracks were (as Monica was a violinist in an orchestra, in which they were covering film soundtracks). I instantly replied: "The Hours by Philip Glass as well as Jurassic Park". Then, Monica replied: "Yeah, yeah, these are my own favourites too". And indeed I was taken aback and told her Really??? I didn't know!!!, because it was impossible that there weren't any personal favourite songs to her, different than those that I liked. Probably Vivian thought about the same think, who told her: "Oh, this is impossible. You have to say something else". And then Monica added Lady in the Water, which....was a soundtrack, I myself used to play all day long on the piano!!! That means it was something she had heard by me as well. The second thing was that, for my own part, I used to believe that Monica was extremely innocent --much more innocent than me-- and had always this childish character and pitch in her voice, that's why I was obliged to protect her from the misery and cruelty of the world. I was afraid that because of her own innocence and goodness, she would be mislead, being taken into advantage and be badly hurt. I wasn't at all strict, nor overprotective, however I never let her develop her own character. I was always next to her, at all times, at least until that age when we both started to have relationships. Thus, she had become anything I was and anything her husband was. At least, when she left Kirkenes, I was happy, because I believed that she didn't get involved with some man who would mistreat her and do anything he wanted along with her, but instead that her husband was a good man and he would take good care of her. However, looking back in the past, I always felt sorry that I destroyed Monica's self like this.